This passage from my memoir "Cult Child" discusses a near-death experience I had when I was five years old.
One Year. 165 Hours. The Final Product.
I know grieving is for the ones left behind, but I gotta get the pain out, bro and right now, I can only cry it out like I used to, pouring it out in small novella text convos.
Sexual abuse, trauma; Leaves physical scars Too deep to ever leave.
I used to harbor a lot of hate toward my mother. Let me tell you something. Hate only hurts yourself and others. It is not a shield. It comes with no solutions. It is fueled by anger and should only be felt righteously; such as HATING child rapists. In my mind the only perspective I … Continue reading Healing Yourself Heals the World
Collage Book by Vennie Kocsis Collage art is a medium which I feel most in harmony with. For me, it’s akin to throwing runes and letting the story emerge on its own. I picked up some outdated pocket planners from Half Price Books to up-cycle into new books. Below is a time-lapse video of my … Continue reading “I’m Kind Of a Big Deal: We’re Talking Cover-up”
I imagine cutting off contact with him probably made him treat my mother worse. I’m sure he took his anger out on her.
Skeletons remain in the spaces beneath the pain. My brain becomes a seismograph of moving timelines and opportunities to rewind. I enter the dark caverns armed. This is no place for charm or niceties. This is a war to be fought by a single army. I am one with what was formed. I go quiet … Continue reading Skeletons Remain
Let's Breathe Together
As I have lived my own survivorship and spent the last few years deeply connecting with trauma survivors, I see three distinct phases of the journey. Victim | Survivor | Thriver (and for some, Advocacy/Warriorship) I think one of the most difficult breaks in the healing process is moving from the victim to survivor state. … Continue reading Victim To Survivor To Thriver: You Will Do It!
I spent the last couple of evenings sifting through CDs of writing going back almost 15 years. This poem was written in 2005. It really took me back to the cusp of my pain. In those days when I felt deeply haunted, poetry was my soul's literary life saver. Do You Want To Know Why … Continue reading Do You Want To Know Why I Won’t Let You Get Close? Circa 2005