This passage from my memoir "Cult Child" discusses a near-death experience I had when I was five years old.
We trauma survivors can have a little habit. Avoidance. I know. I’ve been there. For many years I burrowed myself into every other person and/or project that distracted my mind away from myself. I was so frightened by what I had to face in myself; the pain, the anger, the memories of a tortured childhood, … Continue reading It Starts Inside
I was so triggered the other day by a neighbor who wanted to talk. I said, “I’m really not up to it. I’m having a down day.” Her response, “Oh, get over it.” Immediately I wanted to snap on her. Then this calm came over me, and I said,”Never speak to me that way again. … Continue reading Grief Has It’s Own Ebb and Flow
I know grieving is for the ones left behind, but I gotta get the pain out, bro and right now, I can only cry it out like I used to, pouring it out in small novella text convos.
I used to harbor a lot of hate toward my mother. Let me tell you something. Hate only hurts yourself and others. It is not a shield. It comes with no solutions. It is fueled by anger and should only be felt righteously; such as HATING child rapists. In my mind the only perspective I … Continue reading Healing Yourself Heals the World
Collage Book by Vennie Kocsis Collage art is a medium which I feel most in harmony with. For me, it’s akin to throwing runes and letting the story emerge on its own. I picked up some outdated pocket planners from Half Price Books to up-cycle into new books. Below is a time-lapse video of my … Continue reading “I’m Kind Of a Big Deal: We’re Talking Cover-up”
I have dissected new sections of pain which remain in the hidden spaces of my brain.
Skeletons remain in the spaces beneath the pain. My brain becomes a seismograph of moving timelines and opportunities to rewind. I enter the dark caverns armed. This is no place for charm or niceties. This is a war to be fought by a single army. I am one with what was formed. I go quiet … Continue reading Skeletons Remain
Let's Breathe Together
With Un-Shattered Minds We Will Rewind
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.