Running my fingers over the scars, I close my eyes.
Tag: ritual abuse
A Childhood Near Death Experience
This passage from my memoir "Cult Child" discusses a near-death experience I had when I was five years old.
Skeletons Remain
Skeletons remain in the spaces beneath the pain. My brain becomes a seismograph of moving timelines and opportunities to rewind. I enter the dark caverns armed. This is no place for charm or niceties. This is a war to be fought by a single army. I am one with what was formed. I go quiet … Continue reading Skeletons Remain
The Current Tide
TiredMoroseFlatThis feels likeAn aftermathOf the rubbleFrom a space shuttleI was never meantTo depart from. Thinking of homeI am a Universal vagabondWith my heart strapped on;Ripped so many timesThere is no more liningFor stitches,So I wrap it in twineTie a knot inside my chestA place to tetherThe sadness. Stop trying to fixThe broken heartedWith your big … Continue reading The Current Tide
Un-Acknowledged
What does it feel likeTo be a ghost shunned;A soul un-grieved,Un-missed and unforgiven? In the hovering bowelsOf mysticism where theCynics hang their hats,She waits to beAcknowledged. In these times thereIs a satisfaction in thisInter-dimensional reaction;When spirit feels the wishingJust like we didWhen we were littleAnd hurting. "You are undeserving." I see her thereWeeping. She isRepeating … Continue reading Un-Acknowledged
Falling Silent
The shame of cult lifeNever leaves you. It follows like shadowsReflecting moments youAren't sure if you; Said something right,Did something right,Knew about a thing,A song, a phrase orA time period. You are constantlyEncountering momentsBeing sunk into an abyssOf dark absence. Will I ever notFall silent, when friendsEcho the shows fromA childhood INever laid eyes on? … Continue reading Falling Silent
She Cannot Watch
She cannot watch this world with it's lack of concern. She cannot watch humans share stories of horror before they click the channel to another station. Satiation. Satiation. Bring the brain to another dimension. Escape the images. Babies dying. Children crying. Mother's weeping. Father's gone flat. This is the aftermath of a planet turned cold. This is … Continue reading She Cannot Watch
Abstract Aberration
Abstract writing is a style allowing the reader to interpret for themselves.
The Outhouse and a Sears Magazine
When I was a child growing up on Sam Fife's cult compound in Alaska, we did not have electricity or plumbing. As a result, we used the bathroom in chamber pots and outhouses. We also did not have toilet paper. Our toilet paper was often a Sears magazine with anything that wasn't "proper" for us … Continue reading The Outhouse and a Sears Magazine
Hourglass
There's a faded line Between reality and time I Catch myself remembering rejection Straddling a log fence watching Them play and laugh and shout Odd girl out Too loud I used to be an expert at stilts Stride the mud like a queen I could do anything If I just believed but I never prayed hard enough to Make God real and It would be a version of Drop Dead Fred who Emerged the memories in my head Read more...
A Letter To the Defense
I think you hate me because you can't break me.
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