but if you don’t want it, the full heart and the thriving; if you are wound tightly inside the cusp of your victimoness, afraid that if you shine no one will notice, your hands will grow bruises and your fingers will become weak from gripping so deeply to the pain. change has to rise in you with the strength of infinite passion. you must make the decision to find out who you are beneath the fog and clouds which continuously drift inside your energy. introspection is an art. it is when you say this day belongs to no one else but you. it’s when you only listen to the blues for the rhythms not the tears, because you have chosen colorful moments that reconnect you to your own ethereal existence. it’s when you choose you. ~Vennie~
This psychological test has been around for a while. I’ve taken it before. I’ve read the results. I’ve realized how immensely they’ve changed when I took this test again today. One aspect of this test that I like is that a parent can take it for their child, if the child is under eighteen. If only I had this when my children were younger.
But we didn’t have… Internet.
So here’s my current love language with a link at the end for you to find out yours as well.
11 Acts of Service
6 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch
Interpreting the Profile Score
The highest score indicates my primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to me.
The lower scores indicate those languages I seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect me very much on an emotional level. Learn more about my primary love language and how to put it to use next to the corresponding explanation below.
Important to Remember
I may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but I do not dismiss other’s languages as insignificant. My friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for me to understand this about them.
In the same way, it will benefit my friends and loved ones to know my love language and express affection for me in ways that I interpret as love. Every time I or they speak one another’s language, we score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn’t a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is more of a feeling of “this person understands me and cares for me.”
This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationship.
Encourage your friends and loved ones to take The Love Languages Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve your relationships.
Acts of Service
Can helping me with my responsibilities really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on me will speak volumes. The words I most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for me tells me that my feelings don’t matter to you. When others serve me out of love (and not obligation), I feel truly valued and loved.
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for me is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes me feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking or doing activities together, I deepen my connection with others through sharing time.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important, and hearing the reasons behind that love sends my spirits skyward. Insults leave me shattered and are not easily forgotten. I thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build me up.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism. I thrive most on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind a gift, primarily, that I was comsidered worthy, without the gift giver having an agenda. The perfect gift is also a gesture showing that I am known, I am cared for, and I am prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to me. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to me of someone else’s love and affection for me.
Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect and abuse are unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to me.
I came to a realization. It’s not the non-Christmas worshippers (“thou shalt have no other gods before me” – just a snippet reminder for my Christian readers) who have the bah humbug bug. It’s the worshippers themselves.
Because they are so wrapped up (pun intended) in themselves and/or their worship of the Tree or the Geez-us) they have no ability of mindfulness to the ones who choose not to worship this day or worship…. Anything. At all. Ever.
I got to wake up today to “Merry Christmas” text wishes on my phone from people who’ve known me at least a minimum of three years (the acquired minimum needed to receive an answer back from me via telephone/text devices – lol – OR about how long it takes to get to know my complicated existence) and did it not cross their minds the conversations and/or the previous years I didn’t participate? Nope. Not even a mind glance or think wink towards me. Just their festive elfy dancing of “me me me!” Merry… What?
Oh, and a very appreciative thank you to the two people who gave me New Moon / Solstice wishes. It was indicative of who pays attention. One was my brother.
Here’s some handy tips for the Christ-Mass Worship-ors in regards to me or us (if the us-es don’t mind me speaking for the anti-X-Mass Coalition):
1. Don’t assume because we don’t bow to the tree we’re not happy. We are. It’s a nice day off to relax.
2. We tolerate your blinking lights and consumerism. Tolerate our choice and/or inability to contribute to the light show and frantic overspending.
3. Just because you decide to give us a gift (because you choose to forget our choices) doesn’t mean we owe you one. We give to you just because… Remember? No? Let me grab my ledger.
4. Yes you can bring us a plate from your gathering. Food is always welcome.
5. Have fun with your worship! Just stop being attacking by accusing us of being “sad” or “humbug” for not joining in.
6. FYI – Satan, I mean Santa’s not real. Neither of them are. Just let it ruminate.
7. There just needed to be a number 7.
So go have fun, whatever you do, and remember not everyone is exactly like you. After all, imagine if everyone was exactly like me. O_O
I know…. I… Know.
Here’s to a new year of more change, growth and awakening.
I shut down
Inside the silence
Write it out
Fight it out
This solitary epitaph
Words come lucid
Swept on tides
I am smothered
By the pain of
If I could touch them
Make them whole
Let them see
How they shine
Their lives can be
It would redeem
They can’t rinse
No matter how many
Excuses they invent
I cry beneath the
Weeping willow tree
On my knees
Against her bark as
She rinses my heart
Play on merry go rounds
Their faces adorned