I can be like a hound dog, occasionally distracted by attractive scents, sniffing successfully until something redirects me.
by Vennie Kocsis I don't quite understand these constant holidays, dedicated to moms and dads and bunnies and love. I see them as marketing scams, a way to boost economy almost every month, by throwing in a Holiday. But hey, maybe I'm bitter. On these days I am reminded of my absent mother. See, not … Continue reading Motherless On Mother’s Day
I wonder if my mother ever felt the rejection and pain of her children. Did she ever cry? I can't recall in this moment, ever seeing my mother cry. I wonder if she'd care that I love pictures of my family; to document moments of happy, because no one ever did that for me. I … Continue reading My Childhood Is a Graveyard of Ghosts
Tired Morose Flat This feels like An aftermath Of the rubble From a space shuttle I was never meant To depart from. Thinking of home I am a Universal vagabond With my heart strapped on; Ripped so many times There is no more lining For stitches, So I wrap it in twine Tie a knot … Continue reading The Current Tide
What does it feel like To be a ghost shunned; A soul un-grieved, Un-missed and unforgiven? In the hovering bowels Of mysticism where the Cynics hang their hats, She waits to be Acknowledged. In these times there Is a satisfaction in this Inter-dimensional reaction; When spirit feels the wishing Just like we did When we … Continue reading Un-Acknowledged
What the un-abused cannot understand is how a child can be raped and defiled, then smile at school the next day. What I can say as a sex and physical child abuse survivor is that a lot of us victims don't fully understand it either, except to explain that this is where fragmentation of the … Continue reading Abused Children Wear Multiple Faces
I wish I had one less tear for every time I heard the advice to stay more focused on the future than I do the past. Or one less ache for the unsolicited opinion that letting go is always best. I have spent many years contemplating this. I revert to the line in a journal … Continue reading When Childhood Gaps Haunt You
We are often encouraged to write out our trauma memories. As an author, I am definitely a supporter of this process and understand what it can do for the mind, body and spirit. Often I have spoken with trauma survivors who don't have any kind of outlet for the pain they are holding in. So … Continue reading Are You Afraid To Write Your Trauma?
The shame of cult life Never leaves you. It follows like shadows Reflecting moments you Aren't sure if you; Said something right, Did something right, Knew about a thing, A song, a phrase or A time period. You are constantly Encountering moments Being sunk into an abyss Of dark absence. Will I ever not Fall … Continue reading Falling Silent
To be a warrior one must learn to wait silently in the shadows. We must gather our quiet into the arching pull back of our bow. We must watch. We must observe. We must not fall into senses of time. To be a warrior one must paint themselves into the colors of their own vulnerability, … Continue reading To Be a Warrior
I have a compulsion that I'm going to reveal. It's something that naturally happens in my mind. It doesn't stress me out, particularly. I do it in seconds. I do it every day, all day long. It doesn't interfere with my life, as I see it, mainly because I can do it so quickly and … Continue reading Quiet Compulsions