An Open Letter From Cathy O’Brien 

TRUTH EVOLUTION

“My name is Cathy O’Brien. Mark Phillips and I are 25 year veteran US Government Whistleblowers on the subject of mind control and healing from it.

Mind control is a sliding scale from the kind of robotic MK Ultra mind control I endured during the Reagan-Bush Administration to mass mind control social engineering through deliberate suppression of truth and manipulation of information. We all formulate our thoughts, opinions and ultimately action based on what we think we know, and we Need to Know that our knowledge base has been altered to fit the agenda of a global elite hellbent on world domination.

Think for a moment. Open your minds and expand your thought to consider the reality that mind control is the ultimate WMD of the global elite. Mind control is a TOP SECRET weapon system being used on and by the US military. The human brain responds to mind control and/or trauma the same way regardless of the level of intensity with resultant PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Mark and I are in the process of releasing our self help manual of the steps Mark taught me for healing from decades of torturous robotic mind control and subsequent PTSD. It is today’s Truth Evolution that has empowered us to release these easy-to-apply methods that are otherwise suppressed from mental health and society as a whole. It is the antidote to violence, trauma, repressed thought and, above all, for our PTSD military veterans in need of reclaiming control over their minds and lives.

If I can reclaim free thought, free will, peace of mind and soul expression after decades of torture, trauma, abuse, and highest level military programming, so can you. These keys to healing that intelligence insider Mark Phillips taught me are now available to you in our concise self-help manual ‘PTSD: Time to Heal’. These are the same methods we continue to teach leading mental health professionals worldwide, and that global outcry has demanded. It is about Time! The Truth Evolution has begun.

My experience in MK Ultra provided me deep insight into CIA Pentagon/White House level criminal covert funding mechanisms for what Adolph Hitler and George Bush termed the New World Order. This included taking over cocaine and heroin operations worldwide as we opened our borders under the illusion of NAFTA. Mind control slavery, and the deliberate takeover of the minds of the masses through video games, movies, television, music, Common Core “education”, and above all national trauma like 9-11 and imposed violence/mass shootings, were implemented for ushering in this agenda of an elite self-appointed few. Arm yourself with the facts and look into the reason why Bush-Clinton dynasties were being forced upon u.s. all through our controlled media, contrived polls and rigged elections.

Awareness is the first step toward positive necessary change, whether it is personally freeing our minds from subconscious manipulation or restoring freedoms to u.s. all.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ are the methods I used to reclaim self control written in a way that empowers you to rise above socially engineered fears and violence. Our PTSD military vets have waited decades for the diagnosis of PTSD to even emerge as a recognized mental health disorder, yet they do not have to wait any longer for the antidote. Not only does PTSD: Time to Heal free minds through self application, it allows for self control free of labels, drugs, and backlash from those striving to suppress truth as they struggle to maintain their last remnants of control over u.s. all. Know your own truth in order to recognize truth in our world today.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ can restore peace of mind and ultimately peace in society. It teaches how to consider other perceptions and think further than what we are told. It empowers the ability to stop the past from intruding on the present through intrusive memory flashes, undermining of goals, and/or night terrors. It arms you with the ability to consciously rise out of deeply entrenched/programmed thought patterns, to expand perceptions, and “Voice No Negatives Without a SOULution”. It stops the war within once and for all through restoration of inner peace and self control.

The Truth Evolution is on! Stop the violence and arm yourself with Truth that makes u.s. free!

http://www.TRANCE-Formation.com

‘TRANCE Formation of America’ is compiled testimony for US Congressional Permanent Select Committees on Intelligence Oversight released in book-form when the 1947 National Security Act was invoked on our case. The legal principals of TRANCE are now being taught globally in major universities and in is law libraries world wide.

‘ACCESS DENIED For Reasons of National Security’ tells our journey to survive to become US Government Whistleblowers, is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and power of love, and was written for the people in manner that empowers through truth that makes us free.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ is yours for reclaiming control over your own minds, lives, and freedom. It inspires inner peace, which is the first step toward world peace.”

CLICK HERE TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF “PTSD: TIME TO HEAL” – currently $12.00 + shipping

You Used To Be My Muse

There was once a time when I sent you love letters, and you smiled.  You were far away, always, in either spacial distances or miles, even when you were right beside me.   There were days when you thirsted for my words as if they were the last drop of liquid you’d ever drink again.  They would fill your lonely nights with hopes of better ones.  We never thought ourselves to be good enough, even inside of our inflated senses of ego, the mask that we thought let everyone know we were whole.

You’ve sunk into silence in these days, so many years later, as though your feelings were shred into so many pieces, they melted into the linings of your heart and hardened.   How does one make the decision to re-shape what has been formed into stone over so many years of fire if not to re-melt and re-form into what was the beginning of your existence, stars and floating sky.

I am at peace with being.  Where once I scorned myself, I no longer ingest the disinterest; the passive absence of spirit, held behind a wall of secrecy that cannot be infiltrated.   As I quietly observe the movement of this drift, I understand it, more deeply then I’ve ever seen into our ethereal strings before.   I used to cry from trying, defeated and wondering.  Now, I smile in knowing, because I will continue to float on this solitary raft, happily soaking in stars and overhanging leaves; joyful to be me loving me.   Whether I am loved by others is no longer a need.  Someone’s choice to give love is theirs to own.    I’ve learned to love myself enough to replace infinite lovers.

You used to be my muse as I was yours. You used to write poetry and touch the center of yourself; scribe beautiful rhymes that read as coded messages.   Now, there are robotic movements and steps backwards, unresponsive communications where not even silence holds whispers.

For me, every moment has become a muse.  Each tree leaf that softly dances in the breeze and every human face glancing at me gets read in seconds.  Inside those fleeting moments, I grasp language, expression and understanding of situations that don’t belong to me.   It is from there my fingers begin to speak, leaking out emotions that stir the swirling universes beneath my rib cage.

Here, I sit alone with myself, but I am no longer lonely.

Does Your Tribe Consist Of Warriors?

I am rising. So the people in my circle must be warriors. To be close to me one must contain and maintain the passion to fight for me just as I adhere myself close to you. I will go to battle to protect you.

My army is small, yet impenetrable. Everyone outside of it is a molecular extension. Loyalty is pertinent during these times. To be accepted into the most sacred of my innner space one must be ascended and vetted, mind, body and spirit.

I look around me. I am there. Each person inside of my life loves me loyally. Each person would say no, she is good, she is my friend, my mother, my sister and my daughter.

There is no dramaturgy playing violin strings or symphonies. All are at peace with being. Each who we are. Witch. Warlock. Children of the Stars. Daughters of the Moon. Sisters to the tree leaves. Shapeshifters. Love Givers. Moniceptors. Otherkin. Indigos. Crystals. We are at differing levels of growth actualization. We are varying age dimensions. We are a wise and skilled tribe.

There is a summer awaiting fingers debating word phrases as I disengage from the grid and go in. In the meantime, I hold you at distances. Not because I don’t love you. It is because I don’t trust you. “Who me?” If you’d like to apply it feel free. Trust is not given. It is earned. The world can burn tomorrow, and the hollow earth can explode. Wars can be waged and chemicals sprayed. Who will be there to hold you?

You will know, when at your worst you become your best. So observe the words returned, the lines unspoken, the invisible fences which rush electricity through your stomach without warning.

In these signs of the times who will be by your side? Only you decide.

Universal Ethereal String

If dimensions were slightly rounded metal cymbals hung on a string, each would have a different ring to it. Likewise, if the hole was large enough for a simulated planet to pass through, then there would be a mental picture of the movement of strings holding planets as they slowly travel up into higher dimensions.

One might ask who is holding the string, and that’s baffling for them when we explain that it suspends itself with energy. One might say energy “holds” the string. Imagine every human being is a necessary rower of a boat, but instead of using their hands to row, it is their mood, attitude, gratitude, behavior and love which keep the boat either moving forward, going nowhere or even sinking, should the keepers of the boat begin to destroy its structure.

So your planet is rising, and you are responsible for its movement. It is currently pushing its way towards dimension four. It is almost there. This is why the Kabal is scrambling so swiftly to try and push it back down.

Suggested boundaries for you to prevent that from happening are to not watch too much television or read too much news. Please do not expand your fear energy. This keeps your planet from moving into higher dimensions. So mass fear information is released; fear mongers are planted, many disguised as what you call light workers or co-consciousness “leaders”. If ever there was a time to connect to your intuition and follow it without question, it is now. If you are connected to self already, know that it is not only okay, but vital to distance yourself from the unhealthy energies should you encounter them.

The strongest signal that can be sent to you is the urge at which you must simply begin to care. You must feel it inside of your heart. You must care for life, the plants outside your front door, the human who is struggling to care for themselves, the child who needs to be held. You must care. The simple act of caring is illumination. Empathy is crucial to expand your positive energy. You doing this individual work will change your world in ways you cannot see with your eyes so covered.

I do not like to speak of things which create fear in the heart. There will be times of disarray, and yes they are not far away. Yet, the truth is that the reality of it has been magnified immensely as the Kabal would have you believe you are the victim.

You are not.

You are everything you truly know you are. Avoid the human who would tell you that you should fear. That is the human to step away from. Remain close to the humans who remind you of your capabilities; who point out your strengths and who congratulate you for your growth. Stay close to the humans who care both for you and the planet Earth. Support one another’s spirits and do what you must to expand love.

Together you can, by simply working on your own individual change, collectively move this planet into the fourth dimension where it will quietly and peacefully spend it’s time continuing to drift up the string where it will come to rest inside the seventh along with infinite Earths, beautiful and opulent.

Those unable to expand their energies will fall away to be recycled to the old earth now taking its place to enter 2D. Those who are not understanding the crucial need to heal, will not be able to adapt to 4D and beyond. This is alright. It is their chosen path.

The key to opening your heart is silence; inner silence and outer silence. When asked what is the most crucial thing mankind could do right know, we say, stop watching the propaganda box and start observing self through a mirror. Listen to your body. If it is in pain, stop putting trash into it. If your mind is confused, look into your environment. Face you. Accept what needs mending. Then so do the work.

What happened to your love?
Why are you angry?
Why do you live in a me against them mentality?
Why do you feel that those who suffer are ruining your planet?
Why don’t you care that they suffer?
Why do you cheer for tyrants?
Why do you lie about the truth of who you are?
Why do you think that being in victim mentality will make others care more?
Why do you validate yourself with things not of you?
When will you accept who you are?
When will you discover who you are?
When will you cease fighting yourself?

Inside of most humans is a spark that when lit, changes the view of their path. Light yours. Spend time observing. Cast off conditioning in thought and behavior. You’ll be received with inquisitive mindsets as others adapt to the new you. They will adapt. Continue allowing growth.

Start today. Tell yourself of your own capability and in so doing you glow so brightly your light will begin to show the way to others.

K

How to Know When You Are Truly Outgrowing Your Past

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” Danielle LaPorte

Many people talk the talk, but do they walk the walk?  Many times in my adult life I was a downright hypocrite.   I still have my moments, although now, I root myself in awareness of my behaviors so that my actions align with my words.  I try my best to do what I believe to be right.   Tonight, I was pondering on how a person knows when they are truly outgrowing their past.

I came up with one simple word.

Behavior

Our behaviors, the decisions we make, how we view the world, how we treat others and how we treat ourselves are all indicators of our past conditioning.   I am not a licensed therapist.  I’m a trauma survivor who has attended therapy and spent years reading a whole lot of information trying to figure myself out and understand what had been done to me as a child.

Behaviorally, as an adult, I was a walking ball of confusion.  I had no danger boundaries.  I allowed abusers in my life in both friendship and romantic relationships.  I faltered at being a mother.  I was either overly protective or not setting proper boundaries and sometimes even shut down.   There was a time before I had children that I enjoyed getting into fights.  I was essentially, a mass of anger energy.   Beneath all of that anger and false bravado that I spun to the world in an attempt to appear “normal”, was a deep pain that only seemed to seep out when I wrote poetry.   The rest of the time, it manifested itself in negative behaviors.  I made life decisions that weren’t always the best ones.

In my head I quietly lived in extreme fear of the world, but I didn’t understand why.  I was having numerous panic attacks starting in my late twenties to mid-thirties.   They crippled me.  I would have to leave the store.  There were times I believed I was dying, as my breath faltered and my palms sweat.  Once, I left a whole grocery cart of groceries in the middle of an aisle and high tailed it out of the store.  I didn’t know that I was having panic attacks.   I just knew I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and I was filled with an overwhelming panic to get out and to safety, even if it was my car.

My child abuse also manifested itself in irritation and lashing out behaviors.  For example, if my sons wanted to do something that involved an immense amount of people and/or noise, I would become agitated; begin having fear at the thought of the noisy and child filled environment, even though at the time, I had no clue that was why I was irritated. Noise levels affected my hearing.  Too many humans affected my moods.  I wavered, and I am sure for my sons I just appeared to be a mean mother.   Meanwhile, I continued either spoiling them when I could, in the hope of remedying my failures, or I gave far too much freedom to both of them, which unknown to me, was a recipe for creating a disastrous parent/child relationship.  What did I know of that?  I only had a childhood on a cult and a narcissistic mother to pattern my parenting by.

As my sons grew older, it became very difficult to say no, unless I was feeling anger and/or at a snapping point.  I had no boundaries allowing me to critically think through some of my parental situations.  I loved my sons and was often over-protective of them when they were little.  I worried constantly that someone would sexually abuse them or kidnap them.   I ruminated on fear which often drove my own mind into a state of frenzy that I wasn’t equipped to handle.  That is just one example of how trauma not only affects the person who suffered it, but also their future generations.

Fast forward years later, after counseling, which I now don’t foresee myself ever giving up, just for the sheer support of it, and I realize that things which used to make me exceedingly angry or even hurt, I now have the ability to observe from an adult perspective.  This is how I know that I’m partway into outgrowing my abuse.  My behavior no longer manifests my moods.  I am not always perfect.  Trust me, I can snap and be NOT nice at all when I am pushed in that direction.  I am a work in progress.  However, my pushing pattern has immensely changed.  Where the old self used to flash very quickly, the new self simply moves with action.  Actions truly do speak loudly.

We make mistakes in life.  There are times I snapped and said fucked up things to or around my kids; things I can never take back.  The guilt which builds up in a parent can be smothering.  It can cause parents to become enabling.  It can also be manipulated, if our children get wind of it.   When that guilt no longer exists, I can stand in my place, owning my life experiences, saying, yes, my childhood damaged me.  Yes, that also affected my sons, the third generation children of a cult survivor.

There will never be accountability for me from my own mother.  I can’t sit around waiting for someone to say “I’m sorry”, or come rescue me, in order to change my life or my future.   I am ultimately responsible for me and my decisions.  I can make boundaries and firmly stand by them.  I get to decide my journey.   I get to say no to anyone who doesn’t respect me.  I get to drop people out of my life who have no empathy for those who have been through trauma.  I can do it any way I choose if it feels safe and right.  I get to outgrow my trauma.

It doesn’t mean the trauma doesn’t exist.  It doesn’t mean the past doesn’t love to keep its grimy fingers dug into our flesh.  For me, the very first step to outgrowing my trauma was to accept that it happened and then to accept I can never change the past.   The next step was to then, with vulnerability and no shame, look at my own behaviors and assess what I could change about myself.   Then I had to be willing to do the work.  Part of that work includes learning to be alright with saying no, and putting your well-being at the forefront of your life.   It’s not easy work, but like climbing a mountain, when at the top you see that beautiful view, it’s worth every step.

I feel alright with where I am right now.  I listen to people everywhere complaining about life, and I just think about how many people feel truly lucky just to be alive.  I am one of those people.  I am lucky as fuck to be alive.   It doesn’t mean I don’t cry sometimes or don’t feel the totality of the apathy that’s rampant in the world.  It just means that I am in acceptance of the reality that I can only change myself.   Only I can outgrow my abuse by eliminating behaviors which were once ruled by it.   I don’t wait for someone else to take accountability.  I don’t wait for tomorrow.  Awareness is a state of being; a way of life.  Mindfulness becomes second nature.  Self-love begins to feel good instead of selfish.   We learn what we can and cannot do, and that becomes our boundary line.  We then learn to hold that line like a warrior.

Forgiveness Is For the Egomaniac

Forgiveness.  Sometimes I get tired of hearing this word.  What does it mean to me?  It feels moot; an unnecessary element in the totality of my growth journey.

I’ve learned a great deal about myself through this journey of therapy.  This host who carries these parts of me, she is intelligent and free spirited, kind and giving, thoughtful and strong willed.

These past few years have been a procession of betrayals, subsequent disenchantment rightfully created, and a slow withdrawal into an even tighter state of mistrust.  Yet, this is not the way I thought I was supposed to live.

I watch my cats closely.  I learn a lot from them.  One element of a cat’s personality is the way they are with people.  Rarely does a cat let someone close right away.  It takes time.  They watch.  They wait, observing.  My lack of waiting or accepting the signs that things with certain people were not right, have cost me relationships and a lot of hurt.

Yet still, I work through the process of these hurts and how does forgiveness play a role in it.  I don’t feel forgiving towards certain individuals.  I feel disappointment.  I feel anger.  I feel betrayed and used.

In what way would forgiveness change those emotions and what does that mean?  It feels plastic to me; passive aggressive, a sweep of the hand over the heart and the soft cliche of “I forgive you so that I can heal.”

That’s not how I feel.  To say that would be a line of bullshit.  I don’t forgive anyone who doesn’t have the humble ability to own their behavior.  I don’t expect forgiveness if someone feels I don’t own mine.  I say fuck off, get out of my life, and accept it if someone feels the same about me.

Forgiveness feels overrated and fake most of the time.  It feels like a way to smooth over or make excuses for shitty behavior and give someone a chance to wear the forgiveness crown.

No, I don’t forgive you.  That doesn’t make me bitter.  I’m just keeping it my kind of real in a “please, with sugar on top, fuck off” kind of way.

In the end, life continues on, and I wish no human any harm.  Forgiveness doesn’t hold miracles or healing for me.  I heal because I choose to.  I go forward because I move my feet.

Forgiveness feels as if it is for the ones who enjoy the idea of hanging as a victim on a cross, a personal self built pedestal, so they can announce to the world “forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Forgiveness is for the ego-maniac.

Sometimes Goodbyes Are Invisible 

Silently I observe as the contradictions roll off of tongues.  Where once I felt reactionary, I now feel compassion for a soul so wandering; a spirit so unguided, it is robotic, methodical, unfeeling and closed in a coffin.

Sometimes goodbyes are opaque.  There is no definition of solid pathing inside the cracks.  Time drifts us on.  We knew each other once.  One of us changed.  You didn’t.  The contradictions become light, and I smile.  It’s okay to go.  

Quippish jokes hurl criticism disguised as humor except it doesn’t hurt anymore.  I stand seeing you pitiful, and wonder, what would healing look like in you? 

What would a love blossom become inside of your chest, spreading happiness into your throat? What if your smiles glowed from your eyes? 

You see, I am fragile.  I am dried dandelions shattered by the slightest breeze, so please, be tender when handling me.  And when the pressing of your thumb, weighted by the oxymoron of your existence, leaves more bruises on my petals, I must seed myself in a garden alone.  Where once was home stands a lonesome brilliance. 

You wonder as the minutes turn to hours.  And hours to days which morph into months and I’m in the announcements of a newspaper, a box that leaves you shocked where a twin flame becomes ignited in the black and white print. 

Sometimes goodbyes become invisible as time erases the unnecessary, leaving space for the relevant held by arms adorned with acceptance. 

You can see wind.  Just gaze the trees. 

Blood Shame

What does my face
Look like when I cry?
Un-pretty, swollen
Blood red eyes.

I am five again,
And he is bigger
Than a mountain.
I am vulnerably
In blood shame.

I am a little girl
Naive and helpless,
But I am not her
Not anymore,
So how do I
Let her go?

She is just a baby
With innocent eyes
That cry too much.
I have to let her fly
So I can be alive,

But my heart breaks
Like I’m giving
My child away as I
Am here holding her hands
Over this cliff.

I tell her,
“Just close your eyes,
Baby girl,
And make a wish
Before I drop you
To your death,
Because I can’t
Keep carrying this
If I am to live.”

How to understand;
To explain it,
How the containment
Keeps me chained;
How she screams;
How I don’t
Want to kill her again;

How I’m afraid she’ll wander,
Lost and haunted;
How I hold on tight
Believing I can make
Everything turn out alright.

Here in this silent
Haunted desert
My spirit cries out in thirst
Dehydrated from the hurt.

Fingers feel poised on triggers
All pointed at me,
And I’m laughing through tears
Taunting, “Shoot already!”

If you can find
A clear place on a target
Riddled with wounds
I’ll be home soon
Inside my own domain
Where their hands
Can never reach me again;

Where I sleep under blankets
Made of color gradients
And sour doesn’t exist;
Where there’s no loneliness
Only music, dancing and bliss.

After I get done with this
Blood shame
After I let go,
Reclaim.

But right now
As I hide
I’m just five,
Barely alive and
Smeared in pain
As the ghosts
Call my name.

v.k poetry
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