Sexual abuse, trauma; Leaves physical scars Too deep to ever leave.
I imagine cutting off contact with him probably made him treat my mother worse. I’m sure he took his anger out on her.
This past decade has been filled with many turns in the bumpy road I have traveled. I have pushed through deep depressions and sad realizations about this human existence. I have absorbed and grown my mindfulness and ability to receive and give love. I have waded through dissociative disorder peaks, organizing the many compartments of … Continue reading The Eye Of the Mother
What Buddy Cobb did to my sister was nothing less than abhorrent.
Child abuse survivors understand other child abuse survivors. We joke about off color things. We find the macabre fascinating and nerd out on unexpected subjects.
There's a duality existing when what we long for finally arrives. In that moment we are tasked with facing it. Now, I am going back inside. I am choosing this journey. While still somewhat tired from writing "Cult Child", I want to keep myself surfing this wave lest it all disappear. As I am writing … Continue reading A Poster Child for Shame
but if you don't want it, the full heart and the thriving; if you are wound tightly inside the cusp of your victimoness, afraid that if you shine no one will notice, your hands will grow bruises and your fingers will become weak from gripping so deeply to the pain. change has to rise in … Continue reading Ethereal Strings
I've felt so much upheaval in the beginning of this year. the last month has been an up and down battle of struggles and survival. Things have shifted and changed multiple times. I've been forced in positions to face more parts of myself and accept the reality of others. My process feels unsure at times. … Continue reading On the Merry Go ‘Round
Crisis. It happens all around us every day in some form, from the child who cries a lot, to the friend who is dying of a terminal illness, to war and news and everywhere we turn we're surrounded with crisis and news of crisis. We are often left feeling helpless, because as humans, our heart … Continue reading What Is Holding Space?
A wise person once said, "There are three things you should never share; your relationship, your finances and your next move." It has become a mantra for my life. Years of being both vulnerable and held back at the wrong times have left me speculating my own judgment. Being alone is safer, away from the … Continue reading When Writing Out Trauma Is Crippling
I do so love to laugh. I love cynical, dry humor. I'm your "Running With Scissors" or "Mary and Max" type gal. Give me a dysfunction giggle any day. I get it all the way. In the midst of laughter I feel a seriousness settled into me. I don't have time to play around. That … Continue reading Life Is Serious