When I decided to try a two-day fast, my intent was to begin short stints of fasting and clear my mental status.
I did my research. I am healthy. I’ve never had high blood pressure or internal organ issues, so, after checking it all out, it was a go. I chose a water fast. I would go two days without food, drinking a healthy amount of water each day.
I began on a Thursday, planning to end it on Friday and celebrate with a soft breakfast on Saturday. I felt determined and extremely interested in what my thought process would be. I purposely made sure I had no food in the house to keep myself clean of temptation.
Thursday started with a cup of coffee. I spent most of the day without hunger pains. At 12:16pm, I noted a growling stomach and a headache. I was feeling calm and having few thoughts of food. At 12:46 pm, I received an email notifying me that my phone bill was overdue. Shortly after making the payment arrangement, I thought of food. With a slight moment of worry, my brain had sent me to my addiction as a soothing mechanism. The fact that I had to write the emotion made me aware of the connection and able to work through it.
Here are some notes I took on day one.
“1:20 PM – Hunger pains. As the day gets later, I’m reasoning again; that I could eat light. Today I am focused on the accomplishment intention in this fasting.”
“1:52 PM – Feeling very focused”
“3:00 PM – Had a conversation with a friend about how difficult it is to find someone to date; how we wish we had that intimacy sometimes. Found myself thinking of food afterwards – possible comforting the feeling of lack of partnership?”
“3:47 PM – Fuck… this… shit… Why am I doing this? I’m soooooo hungry! AND nauseated!”
“4:30 PM – So need to eat something I feels – physically like shit – nausea is off the chain!”
I made it through day one by drinking a small cup of coffee in the evening to let the caffeine curb the nausea and headache. I got a decent night’s sleep.
Friday, I started the day again having a small cup of coffee. I spent the morning gulping water. My notes for the day proceeded as I continued to struggle with thoughts of food. At about 11:00 AM I thought about getting some soup, a bit of broth, just to curb the nausea.
“12:39 PM – stomach growling like a mofo – goddamit!”
My stomach was growling, and a slight headache was growing behind my eyes. I began to worry about not being able to sleep that night due to hunger pains.
“2:57 PM – Fuck whoever is cooking good smelling food nearby. I am commanding it to smell like a pig farm! I also feel oddly high and I haven’t smoked a damn thing.”
“4:15 PM – I’m reasoning with myself to just have a salad tonight – to change the fast and only eat a salad in the evening. Tummy growling audibly! Like a fucking choir from hell – a demon choir.”
“7PM – Had coffee with a friend who came to visit.”
“OKAY FINE! I also ate a small bit of bean and cheese burrito. SHAME SHAME SHAME!”
As Friday evening progressed, I gained an intense clarity and focus. I scrubbed my bathroom on my hands and knees. I completed a plethora of small tasks that had been sitting undone for days. In just two days of fasting, I had learned an immense amount of information about the way I think and how my emotions correlate with food. I felt inspired. I felt that my DNA had begun to reset itself.
I now intend to do five days soon. I love a good challenge. I have a competitive spirit. I want to fight my food addiction through this mental process.
I will journal it again, and share my experience with you.
Note: Please do your research and check with your doctor before fasting. If you deal with medical impairments, fasting may not be for you.
Vennie Kocsis is the best-selling author of Cult Child and the hostess of Survivor Voices Show and her live Sunday broadcast Off the Cuff. She is an advocate, poet and artist.