Tired Morose Flat This feels like An aftermath Of the rubble From a space shuttle I was never meant To depart from. Thinking of home I am a Universal vagabond With my heart strapped on; Ripped so many times There is no more lining For stitches, So I wrap it in twine Tie a knot … Continue reading The Current Tide
While Adele was chasing pavement, I was chasing memories in the pages of "Cult Child". Now, she accompanies me as I "go over everything" in the "Cult Child" sequel, "Rise of Sila". Pages come in spurts between resting and remaining balanced for another emotional journey into lost innocence, trailer parks, a narcissistic mother, an undefined … Continue reading Pounding Pages
What does it feel like To be a ghost shunned; A soul un-grieved, Un-missed and unforgiven? In the hovering bowels Of mysticism where the Cynics hang their hats, She waits to be Acknowledged. In these times there Is a satisfaction in this Inter-dimensional reaction; When spirit feels the wishing Just like we did When we … Continue reading Un-Acknowledged
What the un-abused cannot understand is how a child can be raped and defiled, then smile at school the next day. What I can say as a sex and physical child abuse survivor is that a lot of us victims don't fully understand it either, except to explain that this is where fragmentation of the … Continue reading Abused Children Wear Multiple Faces
I wish I had one less tear for every time I heard the advice to stay more focused on the future than I do the past. Or one less ache for the unsolicited opinion that letting go is always best. I have spent many years contemplating this. I revert to the line in a journal … Continue reading When Childhood Gaps Haunt You
We are often encouraged to write out our trauma memories. As an author, I am definitely a supporter of this process and understand what it can do for the mind, body and spirit. Often I have spoken with trauma survivors who don't have any kind of outlet for the pain they are holding in. So … Continue reading Are You Afraid To Write Your Trauma?
I have spent the better part of my adult life studying to understand the relationship between religion and the human mind. Growing up conditioned and abused by religion, at times, I am told I hate religion because it abused me. In my book, "Cult Child", I travel into where my young mind existed. Even though … Continue reading Is Religion the Trauma Survivor’s Band-Aid®?
This piece of writing was scribed November 8, 2010 @ 5:55pm on a Notepad document which was found on February 1, 2017. When you understand that death is just dimensional time jumping, death may not be so frightening. Fear of the unknown holds you to needing a belief system. You cling to systematic rules … Continue reading Death’s Dimensional Jump
The shame of cult life Never leaves you. It follows like shadows Reflecting moments you Aren't sure if you; Said something right, Did something right, Knew about a thing, A song, a phrase or A time period. You are constantly Encountering moments Being sunk into an abyss Of dark absence. Will I ever not Fall … Continue reading Falling Silent
"To be a warrior one must learn to wait silently in the shadows. We must gather our quiet into the arching pull back of our bow. We must watch. We must observe. We must not fall into senses of time. To be a warrior one must paint themselves into the colors of their own vulnerability, … Continue reading To Be a Warrior
I have some tattoos containing symbols which were metaphorically, biblically used to abuse me as a child. I've been asked about this, why I would want these symbols permanently on my body. I believe in reclaiming what is rightfully part of my spiritual DNA, like ancient sacred symbols which represent Love, Light and Protection from … Continue reading Reclaiming Our Symbols