I get to choose what to discuss or not discuss. I get to choose what to accept or not accept. I get to choose, period, and that’s that.
I stand still in my slippered feet. The girls are at the table coloring. My youngest son is visiting from college and is recalling a childhood moment with me. "You took me to watch The Grinch, remember?" He asks. His eyebrows are furrowed. "I did?" I am flipping through the years like micro film, trying … Continue reading A Moment In the Mind of a Mother With DID
If my mother were alive, and you were to ask her if she allowed her children to be abused or if she abused her children, her answer would most likely be (with Bible in hand), "Absolutely NOT!" She would then most likely go on to tell you what difficult children my siblings and I were … Continue reading Child Abusers Rarely Take Ownership of Their Crimes
these days attention spans / are so full of lack / there are three seconds / three / yes only three / to get you to find interest in me / as if i could / wrap up a galaxy / in just three seconds / meme / scream / the social machine all these … Continue reading Stream Of Consciousness | 6.18.15
Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award I'm really honored to be payed forward the "Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award". Thank you so much, Darque Thoughts I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my emotional vomiting. If one reader feels less alone, then all the retching is worth it. Thank you … Continue reading I Received a Beautiful Award!
I am here weightless. Ear tuned to every sound. The fireworks are starting. A week filled with the explosions of war. I despise the celebration of generations who've been traumatized by genocide. Headphones. I'm trying to stabilize. Can I float off away from this place yet? Work to do, but goddamn, I'm tired. Inside. Down … Continue reading Streams Of Consciousness | 6.25.15
Forgiveness. Sometimes I get tired of hearing this word. What does it mean to me? It feels moot; an unnecessary element in the totality of my growth journey. I've learned a great deal about myself through this journey of therapy. This host who carries these parts of me, she is intelligent and free spirited, kind … Continue reading Forgiveness Is For the Egomaniac
It is midnight and the rain is falling. There are never torrents here in this land of evergreen forest. She pours softly from the eave gliding down the tree leaves outside my window. I have knocking pain strobes in my eye sockets, headache gone raw. Sleep is a tender trinket dangling and taunting my view. Counting woolen … Continue reading Stream of Consiousness III
Tonight we are alone in the house. The Pappa Bear has gone to visit family. It's just us and the animals. Vennie played the guitar and sang. We drifted into music dimension, wrote, painted, listened to music. Enjoyed the quiet us time. Angie checked the doors at least three times then four (the even number … Continue reading Alone