Dear Nichol,

When I saw my brother today he had a gift for me. His friend, who cleans out apartments, had given it to him. He said as soon as he saw it, he knew it was for me.

It is so special to me when I am thought of in such perfectly eccentric ways. This is a great example of the energetic mindfulness that is important for me to have with those I am connected to.  My brother and I have such a connection.

I immediately fell in love with the beauty of the leather, the laughing tiger hand carving, and the journal’s lovely buckle closure.


What I didn’t expect was the inscription on the inside flap.


Should I know how to find her, I’d place this piece of art back into Nichol’s hands. The inscription from her friend told me so much about her. I saw her smile, the deep secrets held in her dark eyes, the way she uses pen sketches to avoid thinking and how much she was being encouraged to write.  What a special gift.  

I have a leather bound journal that was gifted to me for a birthday.  I write in it often. I cherish that journal.  It made me wonder if Nichol thinks of this journal and misses if. 

Since I cannot find her, I’ve decided to honor Nichol in the hopes that one day, synchronicity will place this journal back into her hands, and she will delight that I have filled it with letters to her. She found her way into my journey, and I have much to share, so that when it returns to her, she will understand what she always felt was missing.

This journal will be entitled “Dear Nichol”.  I will sketch and tell her my secrets in rhymes and moments of scattered, cursive ranting. She will see my parts through my handwriting changes, sometimes all capitals and formal, other times curved and smooth.  It will find its way through its own journey carrying deep parts of my vulnerability, and only one who will be privileged to hold it in their own hands, will ever know its contents. 

Dear Nichol, welcome to my life. You reminded me today to get through it, but don’t stay in it.

Alone At Sea

What wistful ways
Lovers dance
Eyes intense
Falling into trance
Bent like trees
Branches extended
Their adoration
Never ending

What an invisible life
Hovering slightly above
Glancing below
I never thought I’d
Wince at humans
Holding hands with
Such bonded elegance

She searched the earth
In caves resting
In more caves her
Hands empty
Holding dust
And aloneness

The human aches
I wish I could soothe her
Become form
Hold her close so she
Can feel chosen
Just once but
She is destined
For solitude and
Strangers wandering
In and out as though
Her heart is a brick door

Young she will escape
Finish this cycle soon
Return home where her
Legs don’t ache
From running and her
Ears won’t ring
From screaming where
Her breath becomes
A blanket wrapped tight
So she can sleep.

Now we float
Between these worlds
We see through;
Beyond and between
Beneath and inside
Smiles and tears
We cry and

Who can take
Into their hands
Such fragile existence
As ours
Who can be so worthy
Of this synergy
Spun, we rung the bells
Vibrational wind spells

Not all that exists
Is intended
Some is pretended
And this circle of
Light’s pure amethyst
Serves and protects us

What immortal ways
Lovers recycle each other
Like magnets we cannot
Avoid the passings
Broken rafts afloat a sea
Leaving mystery to
Be discovered
By another

©VennieKocsis.com