This psychological test has been around for a while. I’ve taken it before. I’ve read the results. I’ve realized how immensely they’ve changed when I took this test again today. One aspect of this test that I like is that a parent can take it for their child, if the child is under eighteen. If only I had this when my children were younger.
But we didn’t have… Internet.
So here’s my current love language with a link at the end for you to find out yours as well.
11 Acts of Service
6 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch
Interpreting the Profile Score
The highest score indicates my primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to me.
The lower scores indicate those languages I seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect me very much on an emotional level. Learn more about my primary love language and how to put it to use next to the corresponding explanation below.
Important to Remember
I may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but I do not dismiss other’s languages as insignificant. My friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for me to understand this about them.
In the same way, it will benefit my friends and loved ones to know my love language and express affection for me in ways that I interpret as love. Every time I or they speak one another’s language, we score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn’t a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is more of a feeling of “this person understands me and cares for me.”
This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationship.
Encourage your friends and loved ones to take The Love Languages Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve your relationships.
Acts of Service
Can helping me with my responsibilities really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on me will speak volumes. The words I most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”
Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for me tells me that my feelings don’t matter to you. When others serve me out of love (and not obligation), I feel truly valued and loved.
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for me is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes me feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking or doing activities together, I deepen my connection with others through sharing time.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important, and hearing the reasons behind that love sends my spirits skyward. Insults leave me shattered and are not easily forgotten. I thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build me up.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism. I thrive most on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind a gift, primarily, that I was comsidered worthy, without the gift giver having an agenda. The perfect gift is also a gesture showing that I am known, I am cared for, and I am prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to me. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to me of someone else’s love and affection for me.
Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect and abuse are unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to me.