Questionable Answers

(written by M7 on March 16, 2007)

Sometimes, I crave intimacy so badly, that I cry myself to sleep hugging my pillow.” She says, her face sad as she looks inside his liquid eyes wanting to touch him, but unable to reach her hand forward.

Every night I sleep next to a person who is a thousand miles away, and I don’t even care.” He replies, his eyes cast down, accepting his existence, his purpose, unchained longing clinging to his lashes.

Tell me.” She whispers urgently. “Which is worse? Those who are lonely yet have someone to sleep beside them, abhorring their breathing? Or the one who sleeps alone and makes love only in their dreams?”

He reaches his hand forward to sweep her hair from over her eyes, and she breathes heavily into his touch, her lids half closed. This is forbidden, isn’t it; to covet such as this, another’s vow, a child’s father, to crave morsels that turn into cravings, making her want to claw at her throat from the absence.

The sting of solitude cuts deeper where there is no light, no hope, only the sound of life crumbling around you. See, there is hope for you. You are lovely and filled with colorful angst shooting from your pupils. My tunnel? It shows me darkness. It is an emotional abyss.”

His voice seeps with desperation as he twirls his thumbs around each other slowly. She watches the smoothness of his skin as it caresses each line used to provide human identity.

“Imagine my dismay as I wander,” She contemplates, “connecting with few, finding simplicity, boredom, lack of stimulation, but I must admit that being one alone is far more comfortable than being two in chosen separation.”

She cannot deny him the ownership, the validation of his own agony. Everything in her wants to pull his head to her chest so he can weep. Yet, they sit in silence, contemplating voids unanswered, accepting their own purpose in this fading connection that had been magnetic so long ago.

Sagan.” He says quietly, looking off into the distance, a half smile on his lips.

What?” She asks.

He takes her face into his hands. His eyes have passed her corneas and traveled into the center of her, sinking his words inside her earth; words that would grow fields of tall grass and wildflowers.

Sagan said ‘I have loved to the point of madness; that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to love.’ This is the only way I know how to love.”

So they love the only way they know how.

Stream Of Consciousness | 5.4

the dream / recurrent / dark planet of / cliffs and crevices we / leapt / trained / fought in / total darkness / only scent to / guide so / we became / adept to / aloneness and / the smell of / predators / repeat / through cycles / same space / similar jumps / morphing body / twisting limbs / solid / then liquid and / back again / whatever form / chosen / was / golden for / the moment / have you / ever smelled / complete / lack of light / it reeks of / coal / sulphur / emaculite / lit on fire / what a / morbid place / no food or / rest we / fed / on the loneliness / just a few / years ago / bath night / candlelight / meditation / we go quiet / in the water / i / her daughter / she / we / went flying / so high / i was / eyes closed / had / followed the / spinning hole / the one / you run from / in we go / clear water sky / dimensions high / there are spaces / then the flat / color emerge / below our float / darkened patch / i spin back / retract / familiar ground i / look down / shoot forward / the maze / walls high / human miles wide / there / she says / the dark place / where you / faced the worst / of hellish / hurt i / felt confused / at first / then remembered / we laughed /i had/ thought it was / a planet / see we / planned this / earth / science who / deems us / human we / smile / sometimes shyly / why label we / yet it has / always been me / molecules and / star dust / formed and / unformed / look away / disinformation / mind control station / she / the seven / says the / human heaven / description so bare / doesn’t even compare / to the beauty / shining there / close my / eyes tight to / take in / all the sights / where colors / are felt and / spirit is / held in / revere / the most / precious gem it / is not / stone nor / rock / these illusions / you are taught / I breathe / in blue / exhale purple / heal you / feel me / tears so / beautiful you are / free this / mission is / not complete / i came to / understand the / reality of / delusion / refusing / confusion / become fusion / step through them / over fear like / under thrown spears / it is finished / when you / make the decision / back into liquid / my body lifted / soak in / the lesson what / i see / me / we / molecular hearts / torn apart / it’s just a / fraction of / what can happen / when / we mend / fly again / become wind / ascend / let go / no pretend / face the masses / without / care of judgment / recall your fall / if this / isn’t familiar it / isn’t for you / my truth / can only / be accepted / nothing expected / unpredictable / stay courses / we / ride the horses / become their skin / go back to / the memories again / each time deeper / layers are / thick / strength for this / one free mind / at a time / the goal to / be whole / fly beyond realms / i am / the helm / gaseous flame / i light worlds / but to you / i’m just / that girl / to a few / i am the sea / the ones who / see me / freely / go back inside / we / suck in air and / prepare to dive