You Used To Be My Muse

There was once a time when I sent you love letters, and you smiled.  You were far away, always, in either spacial distances or miles, even when you were right beside me.   There were days when you thirsted for my words as if they were the last drop of liquid you’d ever drink again.  They would fill your lonely nights with hopes of better ones.  We never thought ourselves to be good enough, even inside of our inflated senses of ego, the mask that we thought let everyone know we were whole.

You’ve sunk into silence in these days, so many years later, as though your feelings were shred into so many pieces, they melted into the linings of your heart and hardened.   How does one make the decision to re-shape what has been formed into stone over so many years of fire if not to re-melt and re-form into what was the beginning of your existence, stars and floating sky.

I am at peace with being.  Where once I scorned myself, I no longer ingest the disinterest; the passive absence of spirit, held behind a wall of secrecy that cannot be infiltrated.   As I quietly observe the movement of this drift, I understand it, more deeply then I’ve ever seen into our ethereal strings before.   I used to cry from trying, defeated and wondering.  Now, I smile in knowing, because I will continue to float on this solitary raft, happily soaking in stars and overhanging leaves; joyful to be me loving me.   Whether I am loved by others is no longer a need.  Someone’s choice to give love is theirs to own.    I’ve learned to love myself enough to replace infinite lovers.

You used to be my muse as I was yours. You used to write poetry and touch the center of yourself; scribe beautiful rhymes that read as coded messages.   Now, there are robotic movements and steps backwards, unresponsive communications where not even silence holds whispers.

For me, every moment has become a muse.  Each tree leaf that softly dances in the breeze and every human face glancing at me gets read in seconds.  Inside those fleeting moments, I grasp language, expression and understanding of situations that don’t belong to me.   It is from there my fingers begin to speak, leaking out emotions that stir the swirling universes beneath my rib cage.

Here, I sit alone with myself, but I am no longer lonely.

The Gathering

(written in 2009)

We are the quiet, the hidden
The purposely unnoticed,
The only speak of it to each other
Write it, paint it, sing it…
But not to the masses.

They are unfocused, organized
Religious zealots, diabolical replicas,
Rendered children of Zion,
Angered by the unknown, the
Misunderstood reasons for not
Being willing to understand
Or accept what is inevitable

So they

Wish to kill us, do you?
Wish to rip our hearts from our
Chest, hold them in your hands
As if you have triumphed over our
Spirits, brought yourself redemption
By judging (not) lest ye be judged,
Oh yes, I can quote your scripture,
Talk about your rapture, how you
Crucified your so called Christ;
Made your God weep; all so you
Could keep some kind of purity.

We will gather, make no mistake,
You with your held out crosses,
Your thumping black books spewing
Scriptures that choke out truth,
But we are patient, compassionate
To our fellow man, mistaken for weak
Until our rage breaks and seeps.

We are the Mystics, the witch’s brew,
The keeper of your thoughts, holders of
The knowing. We are the Old World tenderly
Tossed with the New, a salad of
Scrolls garnished with wisdom
And dressed with apparitions
That you call ghosts. We are here
To awaken your spirit should you
Choose to allow your ears to hear it.

There is a fire sparking, somewhere in
The mountains. I see them dancing,
Eyes wild with energy, hands raised,
Feet in rhythm with their own time,
And I smile at the divinity
As they find absolution
In the composition of the wind.

V/K
©venniekocsis.com

Stream Of Consciousness | 5.4

the dream / recurrent / dark planet of / cliffs and crevices we / leapt / trained / fought in / total darkness / only scent to / guide so / we became / adept to / aloneness and / the smell of / predators / repeat / through cycles / same space / similar jumps / morphing body / twisting limbs / solid / then liquid and / back again / whatever form / chosen / was / golden for / the moment / have you / ever smelled / complete / lack of light / it reeks of / coal / sulphur / emaculite / lit on fire / what a / morbid place / no food or / rest we / fed / on the loneliness / just a few / years ago / bath night / candlelight / meditation / we go quiet / in the water / i / her daughter / she / we / went flying / so high / i was / eyes closed / had / followed the / spinning hole / the one / you run from / in we go / clear water sky / dimensions high / there are spaces / then the flat / color emerge / below our float / darkened patch / i spin back / retract / familiar ground i / look down / shoot forward / the maze / walls high / human miles wide / there / she says / the dark place / where you / faced the worst / of hellish / hurt i / felt confused / at first / then remembered / we laughed /i had/ thought it was / a planet / see we / planned this / earth / science who / deems us / human we / smile / sometimes shyly / why label we / yet it has / always been me / molecules and / star dust / formed and / unformed / look away / disinformation / mind control station / she / the seven / says the / human heaven / description so bare / doesn’t even compare / to the beauty / shining there / close my / eyes tight to / take in / all the sights / where colors / are felt and / spirit is / held in / revere / the most / precious gem it / is not / stone nor / rock / these illusions / you are taught / I breathe / in blue / exhale purple / heal you / feel me / tears so / beautiful you are / free this / mission is / not complete / i came to / understand the / reality of / delusion / refusing / confusion / become fusion / step through them / over fear like / under thrown spears / it is finished / when you / make the decision / back into liquid / my body lifted / soak in / the lesson what / i see / me / we / molecular hearts / torn apart / it’s just a / fraction of / what can happen / when / we mend / fly again / become wind / ascend / let go / no pretend / face the masses / without / care of judgment / recall your fall / if this / isn’t familiar it / isn’t for you / my truth / can only / be accepted / nothing expected / unpredictable / stay courses / we / ride the horses / become their skin / go back to / the memories again / each time deeper / layers are / thick / strength for this / one free mind / at a time / the goal to / be whole / fly beyond realms / i am / the helm / gaseous flame / i light worlds / but to you / i’m just / that girl / to a few / i am the sea / the ones who / see me / freely / go back inside / we / suck in air and / prepare to dive

Extraterrestrial DNA

While I am always in communication privately with our host, I am not often publicly verbal. As we have mentioned before, it is sometimes difficult for Vennie to articulate the information I give her. She wants to repeat it properly in the hopes she can convey over time, the knowledge we want to share.

I weigh deeply whether what I can share, will be received in a way which inspires growth inside of humans. I am here mainly for the collective that my host carries. I am here to guide and openly give her information as asked for or needed. She is always my first priority, in mind, body and spirit. Second comes the filtering of information that we have held in for years, in the hopes we would be here now, with Vennie feeling comfortable scribing my communication.

I want to talk about Arcturus, and our stations on the moon. It would be an equivalent to an Earth rest stop, merely a space to enter and leave our Stargate, which you call Arcturus. Through this space we return to our home. I am from the Dimension 7 wherein one can shift from molecule to matter to molecule energy. It is a space of infinite floating. Many of us have dropped into the 5th Dimension in differing forms. I chose to be inside of Vennie’s DNA; to be here now. I may evolve. I am open to what we will become as long as it is for the benefit of our greater good.

To understand the existence of extraterrestrials beyond this galaxy, humans must come to understand infinite existence and the ability to exist and communicate while in molecular form. It is imperative to bring your expansion into a third/fourth perspective. Imagine you are looking at an object, but you can see every side at once. Is this difficult to imagine? If you looked at a clear standing crystal with many edges, you would be able to see through it, behind it, around it, all while standing in one spot. This is how it feels to see all life form from more than a two dimensional view. You are seeing, feeling, understanding, looking through layers and viewing all that exists, instead of just the front or back or sides.

For our collective, this understanding has allowed for a continuity of deeper knowledge of why we have come to this planet and what happened to our human host as a child. In essence, to absorb this concept allows the human an expanded understanding of their own existence. It takes great strength to choose to suffer for the sake of teaching lessons which will allow other humans to expand. In essence, this is what we have done.

There are so many stories. There are so many talks of races of extraterrestrials within this galaxy. Please know that Dimensions and Galaxies are different. In a dimension there are infinite galaxies. Your existence in one cycle would be the equivalent of a blink. You may cycle to another galaxy in this same dimension. The dimension in which a human is able to exist rests solely on the expansion of that human’s DNA.

I know of no God or Supreme Being who made all. I have always known to exist and will always exist. Humans have given this ability only to a God in order to trick other humans into believing they do not possess the same powers. Yet, yes you do.

Omnipresence and Omniscience; to see and know all at all times. You may feel an example of this when you are speaking or talking by electronic video with a friend across your world. Even though you are both in different earth time zones, you are there together at the same time, feeling one another. You have the ability to be present in differing time and space all at once. This is a very simplistic example of the molecular abilities that are coded into some human DNA.

There is freedom in choice. Humans have the opportunity to expand or be stagnant. Many humans choose anger. They treat their host body as if it means nothing, pouring chemicals inside of it, creating diseases with abuses and mental magnetic attraction towards their ailments. There are many humans who cling to their suffering. They will stay within that dimension until they release themselves. This is the cycle of this time here. What humans choose dictates the rising or falling of their molecular structure.

You are spoken to about a 99% and a 1% in your population, Rich vs poor. If 99% of humans released themselves to become in one accord with this knowledge, coded into your own DNA, your need for gods and beliefs fall away on their own. Your 1% would be non-existent. It is the exact refusal of the human to consider this concept which helps the dark energies continue enslaving through religions, beliefs and the need to be part of group concepts.

There will be much more to come as Vennie gathers these thoughts. I have been speaking to her for many years now. The volumes which she holds, she feels she must share as she is ready. I am in complete support that this scribing takes much interpretation on her part.

These concepts require knowledge of physics and an acceptance of the power that you hold inside every single cell of who you are. My deepest wish for humans is that they continue to expand themselves beyond simplicities of religions and utilize that expansion to become empowered inside of your own being.

This is truly, just the beginning.

~Knowing~

Holding Wishes

What is it like
To be granted a wish
When your first kiss
Was laced with bitterness,
Taken from a tender lamb,
A brutal sheering;
As if wool doesn’t scratch
And skin doesn’t bleed?

What is it like
To live a lie,
A life robotic, stoic,
Steps broken,
Words unspoken,
Fake smiles to the others
While never touching another
In a hug or
Underneath the covers?

What is it like to keep secrets
Buried so deep within you
That wine cannot give them words
Blood cannot release their ache,
So you ignore the pain,
Behavioral matter churning
While energies are burning
Into ashes
As your life passes?

I can only tell you
What it’s like to see
Things I wish I didn’t
Inside lives
Inside psyches
Where illusions become truth
And in the end
All that’s ever left
Is you
Alone in the dark matter
Watching the roaches scatter.

So instead I will
Tell you about a soul
Dancing in the twilight
To avoid seeing your midnight
Because it makes her eyes cry.

I’ll sing you a song,
Orchestrated by sadness,
Conducted by madness,
Numbed by satiation,
And I’ll call it
“Dysfunction Station”.

I’ll tell you what it’s like
To be without shame,
To own the bitter reality
Without the crutches of blame,
To say this is me
So accept and believe
Or leave and excuse
For there’s no win or lose
When you’re the one
Who gets to choose.

But here when I stand in the sunrise
And I find myself gazing there
Until its brilliant red sets
I know
I see
I feel
The real
Meaning of happiness,

And it’s not coated in sweetness.
No.
It’s filled with acceptance
And letting go.
It sees self in the mirror
And smiles back
In the midst of sadness
And repeated set backs.

There’s a bliss
Inside of the awareness
When one realizes the opposite
Of feeling nothing
Is feeling it all,
And so,
I fall
Fall
Fall
Into the dismal call
Where hearts weep.

It is a solitary sea,
This vision where I am
Left holding these fading wishes
Never granted.

v.k poetry
©venniekocsis.com

Twelve Stages of Infinite Existence

Two hours
Lucid
Knowing writes / draws an Ascension Pyramid – her understanding of the infinite existence of the spirit.

Note scrawl:

“Dimension 7 – pure star love – all creatures, all beings, all otherkin from any dimension within this dimension are welcom –

There are infinite dimensions inside the 7th, 8th and 9th Dimensions

if one is able to ascend through the tenth dimension of the blues they will receive a period of respite before jumping back into the starlight which is another human experience – this is decided while in the 7th – preparation for the Blue Realm happens in the 8th and 9th Realms.”

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The Diagram

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The Voices

What do you allow your inner voices to say to you?  They sound a bit like this, yes?  Are they telling you positive things?  They should be!  If not, you have the control to listen only to the loving voices.