Tag Archives: change

3 Tips To Help Deal With Anxiety Associated With Change

I moved this weekend. It has been a challenging transition, as I have had to go through an arduous process for acceptance into my new residence. I was down to the wire with my time window. My anxiety was peaking. I didn’t have a way to have a back up plan for my plan. I had to contend with myself. So, I moved through the process in the following ways.

Tip One: Acceptance

Accept that whatever situation you are in is, in fact, an anxiety causing situation. Don’t deny yourself that truth. Don’t feel ashamed about feeling anxious. Everyone was telling me that it would all be okay. They were right. It was. Yet, in that moment that it was NOT alright, I had no guarantee that it would be. So, I just said “Yeah, you’re right, it’ll be okay.” But I didn’t mean it. Inside I was very anxious.

So, I accepted that yes, this was a stressful situation, and my feelings of worry were valid. Things weren’t set in stone yet. That’s an unsteady feeling for anyone, much less a trauma survivor. My first step of dealing with the transition was to accept that it absolutely was a valid situation to feel anxiousness over. I did not war against this emotion in me.

A step beyond acceptance is radical acceptance. This is when I have accepted that there is nothing I can do to change the current situation. It is in this moment that I breathe a lot. I stay very inward focused on my physical body. I stay aware of tenseness in my muscles, a sign my agitation might be growing. I listen to my heartbeat. I pay attention to my physical feelings as well as my emotions.

Tip Two: Self Soothing

It is great to have people we can vent our worry out with. Yet, I find that most often, doing so can cause my anxiety to rise. For me, the act of too much discussing of my worry and anxiety is almost a fueling of it at times; especially if it’s not a solution based anxiety, meaning there is no specific solution. Only patience is the answer. Now I must carry myself through this act.

During self soothing I focus on my thoughts. I avoid negative thinking like:

  • Nothing ever goes right for me
  • It’s probably all going to fall through
  • Do I pack?
  • This is too much chaos!
  • I’m freaking out!
  • Cry!!!!!

Instead, I live and think as if it is already happening. I packed. I imagined myself in my new space. I jumped on Pinterest and looked at some ideas for my new space. I envisioned the pallet I was going to create. I imagined my art in the walls. I saw myself finishing the sequel to Cult Child and making more art with new surroundings and inspiration.

I had a message telling me for sure I was approved, just a few signatures needed to be finalized. I just didn’t want to have to be left with just two days to move everything. I knew the many trips and hauling in a short time would leave me sore. I knew this was the root of my anxiety. So, I sat with that. I asked myself.

What is the worst that can happen? Sore muscles and back? I listed the ways I would soothe; baths, resting, laying down, hydrating, taking it easy unpacking. I focused myself away from the worry of being left to move in a short time to the fact that even if I get sore and exhausted, it passes and life continues on. I thought about how lucky I am to have a great friend and family to help me.

When I was a child, I wasn’t held when I worried or cried. I didn’t have anyone to tell me that it’s going to be okay! So I can forget to reassure myself.

I radically accepted that this transition was not going to go exactly how I wished it to go. I accepted that I would survive moving with IT, instead of it moving with ME. I breathed and said okay, I’m stepping into this change. I left complaining behind for reveling in the joy of a transition I’ve been waiting a very long time to make.

Tip Three: Celebrating!

When the change is over, absolutely do NOT forget to celebrate yourself. Not in a, collapse on the couch and and say “whew, I got through THAT!” kind of celebrating. No. Take time to sit and really revel in every moment when you wavered and worried and kept going. Laugh with it. Tell yourself, damn I’m amazing. What seems like a small step to some is a major step for us. We deserve to celebrate.

Order some take out if it’s been a while. Buy a new shirt; go Goodwill hunting. Write about it. Make something new as a gift to yourself. Something. Anything. Pause to take a moment and really truly celebrate that you got through that thing you worried so much about.

When I was a little girl, no one ever said, “Good job! Wow!” I wasn’t asked about my hopes and dreams. I wasn’t told I was exceptional in any way. Because of this, I can forget that it is okay to humbly celebrate myself.

How we trauma survivors are able to move through change, or sudden change, is centered within the confounds of our own thoughts. We learn the art of self mindfulness and awareness. We learn to put our needs first in a way which keeps us healthy.

Acceptance. Soothing. Celebrating.

Remember that it is perfectly acceptable to take care of you. Do not shun yourself. Love yourself.

I soothed myself through my transition. Now, as I write this, I am peacefully soaking in my new living room view and the beauty of my city.

Vennie Kocsis is the best-selling author of Cult Child and other publications. She is a also a poet and hostess of the podcast Survivor Voices Show.

She | Otherkin

She will expire in loneliness, the kind that creeps up slowly, meshing itself into all of the times she said she was alone but never lonely. Alone will be the only space in which she finds the deepest solace and the heaviest weight.

She will spend the remaining years in quiet; just her and the wheel members, existing together in conversations unheard or misunderstood by humans. Together they will create an impenetrable wall too high for the eyes of the predatory passerby.

She will watch the silent control; men who secretly love rubenesque skin, yet deeply unable to withstand the idea of public criticism; the possible judgment being the chains binding them to appearance, sexualization of the body, a trophy meant to impress. She will watch them undress and repress the feminine just to satiate their own selfishness.

She will dive inside the pupils of women who silently cry; sometimes with their tear ducts; sometimes quietly out of sight. She will observe the ones with coldness in their eyes, a result of too much twisting of their minds; finding relevance on the outside as their souls wander aimlessly away from their seeding.

She will long for home daily, actively making time with the present, founded by the past, carving new paths in the stone walls she frequently encounters. Lights in the clouds will become consistent reminders, and the trees will become her reprieve. This, her pre-chosen destiny.

To brave the human existence with the horror and the persistence of struggle, she will crawl through mud, huddle in corners and stand on mountain tops screaming for the humans to stop.

There isn’t much time left. Forty years will leave in a blink. She will adventure alone, finding no companion to dive the seas as she leaves them in the shallows to create dances with the coral reefs.

Days will become a continuum of journeys into the blackness where dreams reveal truth, becoming invisible for days; tear letting, but she will never spend a moment on regretting.

When cells are splitting inside her spine, stretching and weaving; as her guides help her rewind time, revealing the stealing of innocence, she is consumed with persistence, focus and dedication to the mission.

Still her human heart winces at moments captured by lovers, gazes of adoration she has never received, and she will remove herself from the dimension where she doesn’t feel welcomed.

She will spend her days floating inside the hoping that she will not succumb to distractions of attractions or conversations material, a viral suck hole for her soul.

Duality has almost disappeared. Her visual has risen to an observant height where she hears whispered reminders.

“You did not come here to be human. Don’t let them confuse you.”

She can no longer couple with their genetics; cannot allow their entrance or the convolution of her elegance. She holds shields, because the charming deserts contain killing fields.

She will look back on the ways she tried to be like them; begged for acceptance from humanoids riddled with rejection, and she will understand the path more clearly.

She will never know the touch of intimacy, lost in infancy, never held out of love, past the age of three.

She will become accustomed to the solitary, the human inconsistencies and lack of loyalty. She will cease attempts to be a part of them; to engage in their normalcy, for her, a foreign objectivity of monotony.

She will understand that she is not here for the endearing hope of comfort for her tears. She will close portals once opened, and they will become caves no longer necessary. We will lock the cages that once disengaged our aching, opening ourselves for the taking. We will become a closed army, many warriors inside of the One, and few will ever penetrate, once she turns the key, locking out their apathy.

She has floated inside of the Empath, fourth dimensional perspective where the rejection doesn’t break her as it once did; where she turns her back on the weakness of the narcissist, no longer their prey.

She stands on wooded trails alone, the trees and clouds her Earth home. She gazes the moon, Artemis smiling through the night sky. She goes astral, flying through time, past the stars and into the gate where her Otherkin wait.

You Used To Be My Muse

There was once a time when I sent you love letters, and you smiled.  You were far away, always, in either spacial distances or miles, even when you were right beside me.   There were days when you thirsted for my words as if they were the last drop of liquid you’d ever drink again.  They would fill your lonely nights with hopes of better ones.  We never thought ourselves to be good enough, even inside of our inflated senses of ego, the mask that we thought let everyone know we were whole.

You’ve sunk into silence in these days, so many years later, as though your feelings were shred into so many pieces, they melted into the linings of your heart and hardened.   How does one make the decision to re-shape what has been formed into stone over so many years of fire if not to re-melt and re-form into what was the beginning of your existence, stars and floating sky.

I am at peace with being.  Where once I scorned myself, I no longer ingest the disinterest; the passive absence of spirit, held behind a wall of secrecy that cannot be infiltrated.   As I quietly observe the movement of this drift, I understand it, more deeply then I’ve ever seen into our ethereal strings before.   I used to cry from trying, defeated and wondering.  Now, I smile in knowing, because I will continue to float on this solitary raft, happily soaking in stars and overhanging leaves; joyful to be me loving me.   Whether I am loved by others is no longer a need.  Someone’s choice to give love is theirs to own.    I’ve learned to love myself enough to replace infinite lovers.

You used to be my muse as I was yours. You used to write poetry and touch the center of yourself; scribe beautiful rhymes that read as coded messages.   Now, there are robotic movements and steps backwards, unresponsive communications where not even silence holds whispers.

For me, every moment has become a muse.  Each tree leaf that softly dances in the breeze and every human face glancing at me gets read in seconds.  Inside those fleeting moments, I grasp language, expression and understanding of situations that don’t belong to me.   It is from there my fingers begin to speak, leaking out emotions that stir the swirling universes beneath my rib cage.

Here, I sit alone with myself, but I am no longer lonely.

Universal Ethereal String

If dimensions were slightly rounded metal cymbals hung on a string, each would have a different ring to it. Likewise, if the hole was large enough for a simulated planet to pass through, then there would be a mental picture of the movement of strings holding planets as they slowly travel up into higher dimensions.

One might ask who is holding the string, and that’s baffling for them when we explain that it suspends itself with energy. One might say energy “holds” the string. Imagine every human being is a necessary rower of a boat, but instead of using their hands to row, it is their mood, attitude, gratitude, behavior and love which keep the boat either moving forward, going nowhere or even sinking, should the keepers of the boat begin to destroy its structure.

So your planet is rising, and you are responsible for its movement. It is currently pushing its way towards dimension four. It is almost there. This is why the Kabal is scrambling so swiftly to try and push it back down.

Suggested boundaries for you to prevent that from happening are to not watch too much television or read too much news. Please do not expand your fear energy. This keeps your planet from moving into higher dimensions. So mass fear information is released; fear mongers are planted, many disguised as what you call light workers or co-consciousness “leaders”. If ever there was a time to connect to your intuition and follow it without question, it is now. If you are connected to self already, know that it is not only okay, but vital to distance yourself from the unhealthy energies should you encounter them.

The strongest signal that can be sent to you is the urge at which you must simply begin to care. You must feel it inside of your heart. You must care for life, the plants outside your front door, the human who is struggling to care for themselves, the child who needs to be held. You must care. The simple act of caring is illumination. Empathy is crucial to expand your positive energy. You doing this individual work will change your world in ways you cannot see with your eyes so covered.

I do not like to speak of things which create fear in the heart. There will be times of disarray, and yes they are not far away. Yet, the truth is that the reality of it has been magnified immensely as the Kabal would have you believe you are the victim.

You are not.

You are everything you truly know you are. Avoid the human who would tell you that you should fear. That is the human to step away from. Remain close to the humans who remind you of your capabilities; who point out your strengths and who congratulate you for your growth. Stay close to the humans who care both for you and the planet Earth. Support one another’s spirits and do what you must to expand love.

Together you can, by simply working on your own individual change, collectively move this planet into the fourth dimension where it will quietly and peacefully spend it’s time continuing to drift up the string where it will come to rest inside the seventh along with infinite Earths, beautiful and opulent.

Those unable to expand their energies will fall away to be recycled to the old earth now taking its place to enter 2D. Those who are not understanding the crucial need to heal, will not be able to adapt to 4D and beyond. This is alright. It is their chosen path.

The key to opening your heart is silence; inner silence and outer silence. When asked what is the most crucial thing mankind could do right know, we say, stop watching the propaganda box and start observing self through a mirror. Listen to your body. If it is in pain, stop putting trash into it. If your mind is confused, look into your environment. Face you. Accept what needs mending. Then so do the work.

What happened to your love?
Why are you angry?
Why do you live in a me against them mentality?
Why do you feel that those who suffer are ruining your planet?
Why don’t you care that they suffer?
Why do you cheer for tyrants?
Why do you lie about the truth of who you are?
Why do you think that being in victim mentality will make others care more?
Why do you validate yourself with things not of you?
When will you accept who you are?
When will you discover who you are?
When will you cease fighting yourself?

Inside of most humans is a spark that when lit, changes the view of their path. Light yours. Spend time observing. Cast off conditioning in thought and behavior. You’ll be received with inquisitive mindsets as others adapt to the new you. They will adapt. Continue allowing growth.

Start today. Tell yourself of your own capability and in so doing you glow so brightly your light will begin to show the way to others.

K

Ethereal Strings

but if you don’t want it, the full heart and the thriving; if you are wound tightly inside the cusp of your victimoness, afraid that if you shine no one will notice, your hands will grow bruises and your fingers will become weak from gripping so deeply to the pain. change has to rise in you with the strength of infinite passion. you must make the decision to find out who you are beneath the fog and clouds which continuously drift inside your energy.  introspection is an art. it is when you say this day belongs to no one else but you. it’s when you only listen to the blues for the rhythms not the tears, because you have chosen colorful moments that reconnect you to your own ethereal existence.  it’s when you choose you.    ~Vennie~

Why You Are So Afraid of Hashtags

How many times have you heard this said?

“Damn hashtags. I hate those things!”

Usually we dislike systems and technology changes that we do not understand. Technology can be overwhelming. Add on change and it can get downright scary. Yet, if you plan to stay abreast with trends that you love, I suggest you become friends with them!

Simply put, hashtags are a way of searching post groupings on a social networking platform just by typing in one word.

Say, for instance, you love horses. You can go on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest, the four most popular social platforms right now, type in “horses” in their search function, and you will get endless posts about horses. You will find links to articles, forums, videos, photos and more.

Hashtags are, in essence, a way to discover infinite posts on your passions, all by just typing in one word.

How to use them in your posts? Simply put a pound symbol in front of your word. Think about your post and who you will want to connect with. For instance, my passion is child abuse survivors, so my most used one word tags are #abuse #child #children #survivors #csa (that last one stands for child sexual abuse).

If you are into sailing you might use #sailing #sea #sails #sailboat in order to connect with your fellow #sailors

There are also hashtag phrases. Popular Twitter users, Rachel Thompson, @RachelintheOC and Bobbi Parish, @TruthisHers utilize their Twitter account @SexAbuseChat for a global networking chat every Tuesday night where Twitter users can chat with each other by  using the hashtag #sexabusechat

To join their discussion, one simply adds their hashtag to the end of their tweet. #sexabusechat << just like that

I hope this helps those who don’t understand hashtags to become more familiar with them so you can embrace their existence as an inventive way to find everything you love by simply typing one word.

Hashtags have been around a while, and I don’t forsee them going away. In fact, I’m watching social network users utilizing them in extremely productive ways. So don’t be afraid! Come #hashtag with us!

Through the Mud

I am crawling
Beneath barbed wire.
It is rigged
With explosives.

Shhh.
Head down,
Close to this ground,
Knees deep in, sunk,
Through the mud.

I am dissociated
From the change related
To regular life patterns.

I feel scattered.

Into the caves I
Disengage for battle.
The end is near.
I hear the echoes cackle.

I could hide away;
Pound out the words
To expel the hurt and
Purge the pain,
Even find satisfaction
If I never see the sun again.

Let it rain.

I am on my belly
Exploring human hell.
There are sights I’ve
Yet to see, and I
Don’t know how broken
They will leave me.

I am aftermath who
Has left more aftermath;
Unable to mend the wires
Sparking anger fires.

Don’t envy my smile.
It hides a plethora of
Vile sounds, smells and
Scrambled images.

I take this life serious.

No time for war games,
I am fighting real time battles.
No space for the unsupportive
Who flee
When the cages rattle.

If I go ghost
Into the fog and
Become a mirage,
I’ll never return to
Dissapoint the idealistic
Who created an image of me;
So unrealistic.

I’m a million scattered pieces,
My body struggles weakly,
Swimming through the mud
Picking each one up.

©venniekocsis.com