Human Obsession With History

The obsession with history has become a hindrance to humans.   You may ask how this can be. Isn’t where we come from important information to have in order to understand ourselves?  What does this question mean?  “Where do we come from?”

You have been told that history will reveal to you, who you are and where you are going.  We say this may not be the full truth.  Your televisions have History channels and public networks telling you to stay focused on the history of your planet.

Could this be another mind control tactic intended to keep you distracted from working on your own inner spirit journey?

If powerful humans can keep humans they perceive less powerful focused in on confusing history stories, arguments of origins, who is right, who is wrong, with such a fervor that it causes a frenzy worldwide, where in this search are you connecting with you?   You aren’t because they have succeeded in distracting you.

Ask yourself if part of this, the real intent, of media focus on history is merely an intricately woven veil used to cover your eyes, keep you mesmerized and caught up so as not to face the one human who matters most to you.  You.

If every human faced themselves, released all belief systems existing outside of their own being and embraced their ability to love, what would be the outcome?

Consider that humans have been programmed and conditioned with the need for ritual and worship.

What does ritual do for you?  Does it make you feel a part of something greater than you?  What could possibly be greater than your existence?  Think of that sentence.  Why are you always looking for something greater than you?

Why can you never find it?

You don’t find it in religions because they do not eliminate your pain.  You do not find it because you forget to look at yourself.  So why is this such a difficult concept to accept; that you are the greatness you seek?  The truth of you is as simple as you rejecting what you have been forced to believe and listening to your own DNA, which is always attempting to speak with you.

You have been conditioned for centuries to believe that you must be a part of societies and that you must worship deities.  If you do not, you are shunned, labeled as weird, psychotic and an outcast of their group.  So instead of standing alone and feeling strength within that space belonging solely to you, you find your worth inside of groups where you will be viewed as normal.

This is the most abnormal way that a being can live.   Imagine a life where you, harming none, live the happiest you can, embracing a deep understanding that you have full control over yourself.

If only you just accept it.

~K~

Sea Angel

This video of “Sea Angel” is an audio poem from my poetry book and accompanying spoken word cd, “Dusted Shelves”, which I published in 2011. This particular poem was written during a time when I was deeply depressed. I was in the cusp of writing out childhood trauma in “Cult Child”, my memoir. I listen to this piece now and what strikes me is that my suffering was so debilitating, the thought of being taken under by the sea felt like a comfort to me. Yet, life and hope have always called, and so the emotion became this piece instead. To those who suffer with depression, PTSD, anxiety and more, keep fighting. I remember you daily.

Caves of Respite Required

After an encounter last weekend with someone who I perceived to be who they claimed to be, a spiritually evolved human who, in hindsight, was actually too enamored with me, in the same way I became with him, a few days went by and then I fell extremely ill.  I feel this person literally injected me with poison on a spiritual and physical level.

I have been in bed for three days now with a raging flu as if my whole being was sucked out of me by his very touch. Every joint on my body aching, high fever, swollen lymph nodes and a severe headache.

After the encounter with this individual I felt very “high” and heady.  My spirit felt like it was soaring.  Then as I observed and recognized the falsehoods this person presented me with, my body dropped.  It dropped hard as if I was thrown from a cliff.

I thought about the Buddhist book I gifted him which he held in his pocket yet never even read.  I thought about the first question he asked me, which was irrelevant to the current subject, yet triggered me, due to the woman he asked me about was someone who also sucked out my life force.  I had also predicted that the question would be asked of me.

I thought about the direct question I asked of him in regards to a relationship he claimed he was no longer in. He mirrored my language, calling me Otherkin, when he claimed to have not heard that word before me.  The list of contradictions that I didn’t recognize when I was inside of the encounter, goes on and on.

My main hurdle is trusting those I should not trust and not trusting those whom I should.  My eyes feel even more wide open and aware after this adverse encounter, yet I feel even more cautious than ever before

In retrospect I feel I was vampishly bitten and spiritually depleted.  I feel extremely withdrawn and wiped out, concerned for my own health and spiritual safety.  I have blocked this person as best I can from any further attacks including blocking the woman who he seemingly used as a weapon to trigger my emotional well being.  In fact, it would not surprise me at all to find out the two were in on it together including discussing it afterwards.

There’s a deep lesson for me to sift through as I lay here, recovering from yet another night of fighting off fever and body aches.

I am retreating further into a space of aloneness as I cannot afford to continue allowing these malevolent energies to approach me disguised as light. They are dangerous energy and emotion suckers, gaining only for themselves. Wolves in Sheep’s clothing, they present to me as information portals, playing on my interest in knowledge as a tool to draw me in.

Sharpening my senses as I physically recover is my top priority. I realize even after I expressed direct concern about my own sexuality that this person skewed my perspective so that I would give him what he wanted.  I literally could not resist the methodology being used to attack me.

I have being victimized in this way since childhood.  I did not want to have a paranoid mind of mistrust towards other people yet this encounter has resulted in such an intense setback on my spiritual and physical health, I believe it will be a very long time, if ever, before I trust someone to be who they claim to be or to even meet me or be close to me.

I am building deeper onto my defenses so these entities lose the ability of tracking me, attacking my spirit, blocking them on every level I can, knowing that I can still be tracked and attacked.  But I will make it difficult as hell for them.

As I recover from this illness I am flying inside of awareness and realizations more clearly than ever before.

There is a quiet cave of respite waiting my arrival as this will be the last time I open my gates to allow anyone close enough to attack me again.

Twelve Stages of Infinite Existence

Two hours
Lucid
Knowing writes / draws an Ascension Pyramid – her understanding of the infinite existence of the spirit.

Note scrawl:

“Dimension 7 – pure star love – all creatures, all beings, all otherkin from any dimension within this dimension are welcom –

There are infinite dimensions inside the 7th, 8th and 9th Dimensions

if one is able to ascend through the tenth dimension of the blues they will receive a period of respite before jumping back into the starlight which is another human experience – this is decided while in the 7th – preparation for the Blue Realm happens in the 8th and 9th Realms.”

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The Diagram

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The Voices

What do you allow your inner voices to say to you?  They sound a bit like this, yes?  Are they telling you positive things?  They should be!  If not, you have the control to listen only to the loving voices.

“Feral Girl” a painting from Maude

In understanding how my alter states of being channel through me, I understand that Vennie, me the writer/artist, is the most prevalent existence. She presents on behalf of the sisters. So Vennie got the urge to paint tonight and in a couple of hours this painting emerged.

I was recalled to the young girl in the Alaska tundra so many years ago and how much nature pulled her through despair. She loved to draw horses and felt a deep connection with them. She flew away and rode horses in the worst of times, long before she ever rode a real horse, save the brief “on the pony in a cowboy hat” photo taken when she was 2. She knew how to navigate her way through the terror somehow. What a skilled little girl she was.

I feel Madge healing; really getting more and more integrated into Maude, and that feels rather calming.

And then there’s Maude, but we won’t go there now. 😜

Here is her painting, “Feral Girl”. It feels like a self portrait, how Maude sees herself as Madge, as a teenager, as well as who she is in her dimension. A gothic, yet beautiful soul, trying to find her way back home.

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