Ethereal Strings

but if you don't want it, the full heart and the thriving; if you are wound tightly inside the cusp of your victimoness, afraid that if you shine no one will notice, your hands will grow bruises and your fingers will become weak from gripping so deeply to the pain. change has to rise in … Continue reading Ethereal Strings

A Moment In the Mind of a Mother With DID

I stand still in my slippered feet. The girls are at the table coloring. My youngest son is visiting from college and is recalling a childhood moment with me. "You took me to watch The Grinch, remember?" He asks. His eyebrows are furrowed. "I did?" I am flipping through the years like micro film, trying … Continue reading A Moment In the Mind of a Mother With DID

When Writing Out Trauma Is Crippling

A wise person once said, "There are three things you should never share; your relationship, your finances and your next move." It has become a mantra for my life.   Years of being both vulnerable and held back at the wrong times have left me speculating my own judgment.  Being alone is safer, away from the … Continue reading When Writing Out Trauma Is Crippling

Through the Mud

I am crawling Beneath barbed wire. It is rigged With explosives. Shhh. Head down, Close to this ground, Knees deep in, sunk, Through the mud. I am dissociated From the change related To regular life patterns. I feel scattered. Into the caves I Disengage for battle. The end is near. I hear the echoes cackle. … Continue reading Through the Mud

Child Abusers Rarely Take Ownership of Their Crimes

If my mother were alive, and you were to ask her if she allowed her children to be abused or if she abused her children, her answer would most likely be (with Bible in hand), "Absolutely NOT!" She would then most likely go on to tell you what difficult children my siblings and I were … Continue reading Child Abusers Rarely Take Ownership of Their Crimes

When a Child Is Trained For Death

On October 7th, the world was supposed to end again, as it has been for centuries, since Christianity unleashed its torrent of mind control on humanity. When this story hit the internet, there was a lot of laughter and mocking towards it. I agree. It is ridiculous. However, I find the concept of Heaven and … Continue reading When a Child Is Trained For Death

Recovery Time for Trauma Survivors

You've planned all week for Friday's dinner. You don't get out much. Hyperawareness keeps you home most times. There are the buzzing hive sounds of every patron's voice. There is the echo of the hustle and bustle. Surely, everyone in the establishment is looking at you, confirmed by the moments your eyes coincidentally meet more … Continue reading Recovery Time for Trauma Survivors

Sea Angel

This video of "Sea Angel" is an audio poem from my poetry book and accompanying spoken word cd, "Dusted Shelves", which I published in 2011. This particular poem was written during a time when I was deeply depressed. I was in the cusp of writing out childhood trauma in "Cult Child", my memoir. I listen … Continue reading Sea Angel

I Received a Beautiful Award!

Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award I'm really honored to be payed forward the "Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award". Thank you so much, Darque Thoughts I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my emotional vomiting. If one reader feels less alone, then all the retching is worth it. Thank you … Continue reading I Received a Beautiful Award!