Ethereal Strings

but if you don't want it, the full heart and the thriving; if you are wound tightly inside the cusp of your victimoness, afraid that if you shine no one will notice, your hands will grow bruises and your fingers will become weak from gripping so deeply to the pain. change has to rise in … Continue reading Ethereal Strings

When Writing Out Trauma Is Crippling

A wise person once said, "There are three things you should never share; your relationship, your finances and your next move." It has become a mantra for my life.   Years of being both vulnerable and held back at the wrong times have left me speculating my own judgment.  Being alone is safer, away from the … Continue reading When Writing Out Trauma Is Crippling

Sea Angel

This video of "Sea Angel" is an audio poem from my poetry book and accompanying spoken word cd, "Dusted Shelves", which I published in 2011. This particular poem was written during a time when I was deeply depressed. I was in the cusp of writing out childhood trauma in "Cult Child", my memoir. I listen … Continue reading Sea Angel

I Received a Beautiful Award!

Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award I'm really honored to be payed forward the "Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award". Thank you so much, Darque Thoughts I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my emotional vomiting. If one reader feels less alone, then all the retching is worth it. Thank you … Continue reading I Received a Beautiful Award!

Anesthetize

You stand there in your White smock, Arms crossed over the chest, Same smile fifteen years later. I wonder who you are anymore As your voice echoes Dismissive screams Disguised as suggestions For my wailing. "Hop a bus to the Harbor," You say "Over a bridge. Live a little But just in case you can't..." … Continue reading Anesthetize

An Army Inside the One

What a cruel fate; these women who live inside me. What a scatter, a hush, a bustle of activity, a wish for silence as our skin is touched. What a tortured existence, the ending of the blissful discovery, when truth comes with the sunrise and lies disappear with the moon. What an angst to carry, … Continue reading An Army Inside the One

The Hiding Place (“Cult Child” excerpt)

     "Brother Coblin announces at service one night that we’re all going to get to watch a movie called The Hiding Place. It’s about a woman named Corrie Ten Boom, a Jew who was in the concentration camps during World War II. I’m excited to get to watch a real life movie. I think … Continue reading The Hiding Place (“Cult Child” excerpt)

Broken Until Spoken

This was not an easy photo for me to do this morning. I cried. It hurt to take. I was swept back to being a five year old child, mouth taped so often to train me to be silent, just like this, except it was white packing tape, so even more humiliating as I couldn't … Continue reading Broken Until Spoken

Why the Switch Sometimes Can’t Be Flipped.

Imagine that you're in an empty room. The room has become completely dark. You need to get up and get out of the room, but in order to do that, you have to be able to see so you can find the door. All that is visible is a glow in the dark light switch … Continue reading Why the Switch Sometimes Can’t Be Flipped.