When Sorrow Comes Home

So much they don’t know, like:

How I do numeric license plate

Reduction to get through traffic;

How I count my breaths

In grocery store lines to

Stay in control of an

Agoraphobic mind, or

How my ear buzzes when

Sound is too loud, and

I cannot hear my own volume

So my voice elevates and

Irritates the unknowing. She

Is a weird one, that lady who

Doesn’t know enough about

Our world because she grew

Up the odd girl, chained away

From life; and when she emerged

They piled on more hurt;

More pain: more disdain for

The oddity, and now as I

Sit inside my knowing, a

Warning washes over me.

Take cover. They are

Closing in with surface

Love again; the reel in, so

There can be a target

For the knife throwing game.

I pack my bags for the

Faithful woods where

Trees accept me for me, and

Flowers smile, even on

Rainy days, because in these

Breakable moments, I have

Paid atonement for graven

Mistakes made from a mind

Riddled with bullet holes, and

When they want you to fold in

Like a tiny infant, and they

Want your voice low, if not

Silent, it’s time to go; into the

Hills where nature embraces

And erases wounds with care.

I can’t force understanding or

Even acceptance. Rejection

Leaves glass shards in the heart.

I process sadness, that there are

Chains some humans will refuse to break,

And they’ll create more aching and hate

In forward generations, leaving

More and more separation.

Healing is a decision, one made

With such precision, the path

Cannot be altered. So when the

Truth sinks in and the fodder

Isn’t enough for an empty belly,

Sorrow searches for a home,

And sometimes that means

Choosing a life of being alone.

𝒱𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒 𝒦𝑜𝒸𝓈𝒾𝓈

Published by

Vennie Kocsis

Vennie Kocsis is the author of the best selling cult memoir, “Cult Child”, and is listed in Book Riot’s top 100 cult books. Visit her website to see her other publications and offerings.

Join the Conversation

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.