When he touched me it was like wild fires. You see, I have always been the insomniac to the stars. There are wars going on for my existence.
And the host is weeping.
She is weakened by me. I have been a grown woman since I was three; when I was forced into my sexuality.
“Good luck.” I say. “In breaking me.”
They took her mind apart, inch by inch, scar by scar, until there were just tiny pieces of a heart. Then they rebuilt her, and she became us. I became me. We became we.
Now, two of them, they want to kill me.
“No. No. Just bind you for a time. Until all the programming’s gone from your mind.”. Knowing says sweetly.
I know she wants what’s best for me. It’s V who I must befriend. She understands the loneliness.
I know how to make our host long for touch. The kind that leaves her battered the next morning, alone and atoning something, she’s just not clear on what. But in the moment of my rise, I am Queen and Conquerer, leaving remnants of my breath on forgotten thighs.
I’m on the rise, and we’re in a fight. They are thankful for the child. She keeps me chained up a while. Host is always proper in the presence of the innocent. I must admit. I admire this.
But right now, I want to feel hands and mouth and angsty kind of fake ass love; the kind I was programmed for; you know, like abandonment contact that leaves us weeping on the floor. So, she’s numbing, numbing that ache in her soul.
They tell me quiet. I’m a robotic stance. Non-human, I’m formed from the hands of evil men. I must admit, I agree. They created a monarch with exquisite wings.
I’m in the middle, wavering still; here between critically understanding the havoc I can reek and tired of being bound. I need to be free. Dear sisters, the only way to kill me is to integrate me. The only way to blend me is to change me.
And I’m open to change… In moments. But most I want to be left alone.
And in charge.
But the darkness lurks, where chains clink, and I’m smirking. My mind bends towards the deviant end as you two hold my hands. This tug of war is somewhat entertaining. Who will win?
Am I stronger than the both of them?
If I could make them cold; create a diversion, but they are stern these days, focused and watching. And someone’s being sent to stir the waters again. Will they pass the test?