My flesh holds the cells of my mother and my father, aching with generations of pain, struggle, worry and conversion. This life has been serious. Even in moments of laughter, beneath my skin I am captured by the still sadness of the dismal pools existing in the atmosphere.
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This is not depression. This is expression. This is not sinking into mires. This is the revealing the generations of liars using power to enslave the minds and souls of human hearts.
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My skin holds the music of my ancestors, played long before their spirit fell silent. I listen to the whispers in my cells, calling me home within myself. I am the laughter of beautiful babies and the tears of every hurting child. I am my own actions and my own accountability. My hands hold self forgiveness. My heart holds the love of infinite suns.
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𝒱𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒 𝒦𝑜𝒸𝓈𝒾𝓈
VennieKocsis.com
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When a child is defiled, it changes our biology. While in Sam Fife’s Move Of God Cult, I already suffered multiple head traumas from beatings by the age of five. Still, I’m sometimes mocked because I struggle with memory. From flighty, to flakey, called a liar, the level of victim blaming/disregard for my experiences has been next level and worse, used to take advantage of me. Those days are over.
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As a post-cult teen, my mother was violent. She grew up neglected and abused by her mother. A cult recruiter spent years mind controlling her until she left my father to hand over her children to a violent cult. That’s how deep mind control goes.
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As a post cult teenager, she backhanded me so hard I had countless busted lips from my teeth cutting the insides. It should be noted she never hit us before the cult got ahold of her. She once trapped me behind a bedroom door at 15 years of age, punching me in the head and face as I tried to shield the blows. My older sister pulled her off of me. The stories go on and on.
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When I was incarcerated at 18, mother spent her visits weeping about where she had possibly gone wrong for this to happen to HER, as I sat staring back, wearing my TDOC uniform, white stripe down the side, prisoner 120406. I was the one behind bars yet consoling my own mother.
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This has been my life, invisible impairments ignored by those who should have listened and understood why I view the world and react to things the the way I do.
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I was in 2 domestically violent adult relationships. The 1st, I was called stupid, a dumb bytch, and much worse. The 2nd, my head was slammed against a wall repeatedly, and I was choked. Between the ages of 3 and 30, I experienced more head trauma than I can count.
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So, if you don’t understand me, or I seem confusing at times, consider this.
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#venniekocsis #cultchild #cult #cults #cptsd #did #childabuse #trauma #exvangelical #truestory #writerslife #survivorvoices
You listen to this; the words. This is the mind of a pedophile who looks like your average teacher, uncle, pastor, dad, librarian, store clerk, whatever you want him to be, one thing he doesn’t appear to be at first glance, is a monster, until you hear his words. These are the thoughts that go through a pedophile’s mind while they are speaking “loving” words of grooming. These are the fantasies going through their heads when they try and normalize themselves as a fetish. Never forget these are psychopaths and they will never change. They must be eliminated from this planet.
#venniekocsis
#rapesurvivor
#rapevictim
#advocate
#educate
#pedophelia
#pedosexual
#childabuse
#sexabuse
#keeptalkingmh
#childabuseawareness
#psychopath
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➡️Tag Someone Who Needs 💗
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I will not love 💗 anyone more than I am willing to love ❤️ myself. When I set my standard of self love 💕 high, I naturally come to accept nothing less from others. By doing this, I have found out a somewhat melancholy truth. My circle ⭕️ became much smaller. I realized how many people I was allowing to stay in my life, who do not love 💗 themselves and therefore cannot love me. •
Why did I do this? 🥺 I could have spared so much heartbreak. 💔 Ah, because I was growing 🌱 too. So, I do not stop to rest on the why’s or regrets. I hug the lessons. I embrace the scars ⚡️ reminding me of the times I survived; that I’m alive 🤗 and will never travel those roads again. 〰️
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Believe in yourself. There is a Warrior ⚔️ inside of you whom you may not have met yet. They wait for you to turn your head and notice them so you can merge your synergy 💫 and become One. You are all that is around you. Stars ✨ Moon🌚, Sun🌞, and all of Life🌍.
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Open your eyes 👀 wide and walk forward. ➡️
#VennieKocsis
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Familiar. I know we’ve never touched, held hands or hugged, but we share this invisible connection. 🤲🏼
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Every exchange I have through these distant internet waves reminds me that we are a strand of moving DNA, thought and energy constantly swirling between one another. We are each walking individual journeys yet can find at least one similarity in one another. 🧬
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How can this be? When we turn to look at who is next to us, understanding their way of seeing the world and what they need to feel safe in it, we open up a portal to see one another. When we see the same in ourselves we can create an environment rich with possibilities and passion for ourselves. ⚔️
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Happy Love Day, because you are loved every day; by the sky, the moon, the cloud covered sun and every breath you are giving and receiving in sync with your terrain. Love yourself today and every day. Thank you for sharing my soul with me here. ❣️
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#love #loveday #happyloveday #connection #soulconnection #poetry #poetrycommunity #valentinesday2019 #valentinesday #spreadlove #spreadjoy #beyourself #loveyourself #writersofinstagram #authorsofinstagram #poet #videooftheday #poetryofinstagram #venniekocsis #iloveyou #thankyou #cultchild #mentalhealthawareness #ptsd #support #giveback #survivorvoices
I have been beat, raped, torn down, berated and my soul scattered. Through it all, I became stronger, more understanding but less tolerable of bullshit. We are the #warrior #advocates marching in sync to a battle cry. I am the strongest person I know. I am my own #hero 💫
Here’s to the waymakers, the #fighters and protectors of #Light. Here’s to the #empaths protecting children and the slow turn of our #planet toward peace. Here’s to each and every part of your tender heart.
#fridaymood #selflove #livingmybestlife #survivorvoices
#motivationalquotes
I was 3/4/5/6/7 years old sitting through exorcisms like this one. In this specific session the cult leader, Sam Fife, is casting demons out of a woman named Jane Miller in the 70’s. When I was a little girl on Sam Fife’s Ware, MA, compound, the exorcism ritual was to first tie us children to a chair by our wrists, chest, knees and ankles. A demon could be anything. If you laughed too much - demon of silliness. If you spoke up for yourself - demon of defiance. Anything could be a demon. In an exorcism there were usually at least three people all yelling around you, just as you hear Sam Fife yelling here in this audio. Your whole vibratory mental system is berated on all sides. Exorcisms could last for hours depending on how frenzied and sadistic the Elders were feeling that day. Exorcisms were accompanied with hair pulling, face slapping, head hitting, skin pinching and spitting. In my book, Cult Child, I describe a dissociative exorcism session where I watched part of the session floating above my body. These sessions were brutal on multiple levels. Sermons were/are the same, anger based, fire and brimstone, end-times screaming. We were made to listen to tapes of Sam Fife preaching like this. Day in and day out. If he reminds you of Jim Jones it’s because they trained together. Soak that in. When America truly understands what has been done to their minds and even worse, to the children, in the name of religion.... 🤯 #religion #pentacostal #evangelic #christianity #demons #cults #cult #commune #america #freedomofreligion #mentalillness #mindcontrol #brainwashing #hoax #abuse #abusesurvivor #survivorvoices #cultstoo #videooftheday #authorsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #survivor #thrive #exposing #truth #mkultra #bible #endtimes
Listen closely to my ex-cult leader speaking just two years ago. He is saying that God doesn’t just want children to know about evil, but they need to experience it so they can know God’s love and that’s why God allows for sexual and other abuses. This is how dozens of other children and I were raised. Raped and abused. It’s not something you ever get over. It’s something you learn to get through. This is the wickedness of humans on this planet.
BACKSTORY: Before Buddy Cobb, Sam Fife’s predecessor for 30 years, died in 2017, his granddaughter confronted him about the rampant sexual abuse in the #cult. She does so, as you will see, in three separate scenarios. Listen to what he says - that bad things happen so we can know what evil is, and that nothing happens that is not the will of #God. This phrase is used in every #Christian organization. “Well, it must be the will of God.” Religion is a virus which embeds itself into a human, rotting their brain, stealing their DNA and turning them into monsters. It is a grave #mentalillness which needs to be paid very close attention to. Why? Because it is raping, beating and enacting #mindcontrol at every turn. If a dog bites a child by law, it gets put down, but not #pedophelia aka #pedosexual aka #pedosexualpride also known as dogs who need to be put the fuck down. #pedogate #sexabuse #serious #epidemic #religion #mindcontrol #childabuse #deathpenalty #hunter #mentallyill #execute #saynomore #samfife #samfifesmoveofgod #cults #cultshit #protectchildren #survivorvoices #venniekocsis
